Hello sweets,
Thanks for the birthday wish. This is indeed the age that i have been waiting for. 30. wow! i cant believe that i am 30 already. and somehow, despite i think i dont look different, i really feel different. i feel that i am a more responsible person and i feel that i have outgrown some petty situations that i used to care about.
Its good to hear about your wellbeing and the progress that you are experiencing now. I must say that i envy you, but that's just my weakness. i envy all the things i dont get to do. and all the things i got to do, i dont count them as my own enriching experience and be grateful about it. heh. well, its just human nature to want what you dont have.
as for my life, i have been waiting for the day that i could talk to u about it, when u r finally here in europe and we could skype. i thought of writing to you of the so many things thats happening to me right now, but it could sound abit draggy or boring or something is just not right with me. i have been everywhere, punched around, adored, ignored, oppressed, depressed, elated. life was just hell and heaven all together. i was sometimes happy and then suddenly sad. it was all the extremes. both my work and personal life were facing such extremes and at most of the time. i must say, april, may, june were really busy months for me. i dont think i had the time to just stop and be lost in my thoughts and my surroundings. too much emotions would just crept in.
having time for yourself, like you are having now, must be the most valuable experience for u. it lets you gather yourself and explore the known and the unknown of your being. the more i think of myself, i realized that i am both a simple and complex person. i am both an easygoing and introverted person. i am both of all opposites.
i am very much intrigued by your workshop on the art of dying. u must explain more about it, either on skype or on your next email. frankly, i have been thinking about dying ever since my last message to you. everyday could be the last for me and i must make the most out of it. when i told u about living my life at both extremes, i was implying on my religious and also social life. i seek god with reading the quran and the translation almost everyday, knowing some words really had profound meaning in me, but at the same time, i was in a journey of self discovery, that should be deemed sinful, but i believe it is also god's way to make me learn and experience things. all this little experiences makes up the bigger picture of myself.
i guess i managed to write the things that had summed up most of my experience in reaching this age. i should have put all this in my blog, which i have been delaying due to my workload of late. not to mention, the tension between me and my boss. but well, that's just life.
all this experiences makes me feel older, but with all the fun i m having now, i didnt realized that i have lived another year. it feels good actually being 30. it feels even better that i finally managed to write all this out in a matter of minutes. i have been waiting for this moment i suppose to be able to express myself.
i look forward to all your experiences, even those that i might not be able to understand. :) and of course, to your insights too. i miss talking to you. you take care and eat well. your pictures actually enables me to be out there and not to be succumbed by all this worldly things i have.
lots of love.
