berita pukul 9.53 pagi

friends, today i thought i would want to blog about my HopOnHopOff all around KL experience. but i decided to delay that until i am feeling better.

not that i am sick or anything, but i am right now seriously demotivated. If what Syah*naz said is true, then i'll be fucking devastated.

in the meantime, enough demotivation to kill my performance. but i can never allow such overwhelming news to stall my work.

dah. cerita lagi lain kali. serius takde mood ni.

splat!

* beliau adalah rakan senasib

like a friend

for the one who recommended it to me. seriously, i only remembered the movie but not the song. but anyway, seriously lagu ni best ;)



lagu ni i think is about a friendship that is viewed differently by both parties :D

anyway, mari nyanyi bersama dan dedicate this to the friend that we have feelings for. heh!

Don't bother saying you're sorry.
Why don't you come in?
Smoke all my cigarettes - againe.
Every time I get no further.
How long has it been?
Come on in now,
Wipe your feet on my dreams.

You take up my time,
Like some cheap magazine,
When I could have been learning something.
Oh well, you know what I mean.

I've done this before.
And I will do it again.
Come on and kill me baby,
while you smile like a friend.
And I'll come running,
Just to do it again.

You are the last drink I never should drunk.
You are the body hidden in the trunk.
You are the habit I can't seem to kick.
You are my secrets on the front page every week.
You are the car I never should have bought.
You are the train I never should have caught.
You are the cut that makes me hide my face.
You are the party that makes me feel my age.

Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid.
Like a plane I've been told I never should board.
Like a film that's so bad but I've gotta stay til the end.
Let me tell you now,
It's lucky for you that we're friends

budak2 sekolah rendah bukit damansara

on christmas eve, after the emcee-ing course was over, me and azni went CD hunting. yeah, at last i was at Pertama to hunt for CDs and bought not only Revenge, malah berjaya mem'purchase' Dragonforce. damn. senang gile terpengaruh kepada tempo drums yg padu itu. Goodbye Helloween, Hello Dragonforce. hahah.

(owh terlupa nak kira buku AKU yang azni bought in Pertama. haish, mcm2)



Oleh kerana hari sudah malam dan Mr and Mrs Ridzuan plak sudah on the way from Johor, i really had to run to Borders utk mencarik buku yg telah diorder oleh Big Boss. iaitu sebuah buku bertajuk 'Legacy of Ashes : History of CIA' yang telah langsung tiada stok di sekitar Johor Bahru dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

walau bagaimanapun, since we passed by Jalan Doraisamy, we came across a restaurant called The Bodhi Tree which i've got to know about since last year but can never find time to check it out. therefore we filled our tummies with good food, haiwan berdaging merah berserta apple pie with caramel and ice-cream di kedai tersebut. and to add to everyone's delight, Azn* met Mervin, bekas kawan darjah 6 kelas sebelah di sekolah rendah bukit damansara. and to azni's misery, Mervin did recognize her actually. haha but was afraid to ask , since his wife was around. LOL. (no la, i bet he couldn't believe that u havent change a bit since darjah 6 at least 17 years ago. haha) now to add to all this excitement, datang lagi rakan2 sekolah rendah bukit damansara beliau yang have been known as the nerdy clan to play boardgames (was it Monopoly?) in the kedai makan. And to add to all this excitement, the owner of the shop plak is mak Mervin. Kopitiam sebelah kedai ni pulak is owned by bapak Mervin. Soon, i think jalan depan kedai2 ni suma akan jadi Jalan Mervin kot. :P

So, since now time was so short, we had to cepatkan langkah to Times Square before all the kedai tutup. Plus my parents are already on their way, maka harus cepatlah kan. tetapi, when it comes to two bookworms in the forms of Raf*qa and Azn* in a bookstore, our hands were basically full of other books yg obviously bukan Legacy of Ashes la kan. Antara buku-buku yang telah dipegang for at least 10 minutes dan are not paid for (=left whereever we indulge into other new book) :

i) Irvine Welsh - if you liked school, you'll love work
ii) Chuck Palahniuk - Stranger than fiction and Invisible Monsters
iii) Haruki Murakami - Dance Dance Dance and Sputnik Sweetheart
iv) penulis tak ingat - Charles Bukowski
v) Benrik -This Diary will Change your life 2009
vi) Franz Kafka - the complete stories



all these were denied in the end after realizing that both of us have at least (between us) 30 books to last us our working career. haha. so no, we better not buy just for the sake of stocking up our book shelves. tu penyakit namanya.

maka, both of us pulang dengan perasaan bercampur baur. Gembira kerana berjaya mengawal nafsu buas terhadap buku, sedih kerana tidak membawa pulang sekurang2nya 2 buku yang diminati, kenyang kerana perut penuh dgn daging merah, hampa kerana tidak sempat pekena kopi Stabak walhal dah menyebutnya the minute we stepped on the tiles of Times Square. hehe.

and i have made a mental note to send my children to Sek Rendah Bukit Damansara (dan seterusnya SM Bukit Bandaraya) so that in future these kids of SRBD will lepak at my Kopitiam to play boardgames even after 17 years of friendship and they become successful people (owning restaurants and whatnot).

sekolah sape yang bagus sgt ni? *grin*

My Bestfriend's wedding

no, i didn't have that acara kejar mengejar with the bride and groom. heh. totally not the movie.



okay, can't be talking too much tonight. really need to sleep. so ngantuk already. but i really wanted to write something on it.



it is my bestfriend's wedding, Mr Jumy. So Jumy and Zalia, wow! another classic love story. Congratulations you two sweet people.



I am not so sure if me and Shaq were giving Jumy any moral support or we were just goofing around Jumy just to divert his attention to his tok kadi. heh. but obviously kita tidak berjaya Shaq, kerana Jumy made himself the man of the house by sekali lafaz aje. Syabbas mere bete. hehe

Seriously dude, syahdu ok listening to the tok kadi and later u reciting the akad. pergh. pasal tu la i malas pegi wedding. huhuhu. Zalia, mekap mata u seriously meletooop. Cara tgk cameraman tu, pergh, mcm nak tackle dia pon ada gak. LOL.

anyways u two, congratulations! see u again in 72 hours.

good night folks.

p/s: saya masih belum terlupa to write about budak sekolah rendah bukit damansara. heh. ;)

kasut Clarks hitam ku yang baru...

New things fill my day today. i wore a new shirt.



a new black shoes.

new black panty hose.

i went to a new course, an emcee-ing course.

i got to know that the guy that i don't think that he is too smart is dating a new girl.

bought something new [and practical] for Jumy as his wedding gift.



so many new things have been happening around my life. so the reason that i don't blog these days is just that i am plain lazy and too bloody occupied with my own life. but no, no new man. none at all.


i just deleted the original entry. malas nak baca di masa hadapan nanti. suffice to say, saya rasa saya jiwa lara. huhu.

padan muka saya. balasan tuhan pada yang alpa. bilalah agaknya saya akan jadi berguna? insaf dan beribadah sepenuh masa.

lagu kegemaran untuk hari ini dan semalam dan hujung minggu

post ni dah lama. tp tak dapat nak taruk video yg saya minat tu. so, please click here to listen to my new favourite song! :D

btw, sesapa yang tau band revenge, please tell me how do i get their cds? ini kerana, ketika di Rock the World ke 8 yang baru diadakan pada hari Sabtu yang lalu, saya merasakan kugiran ini agak kemas (neat!) dan saya ingin meminati mereka. he he.

so tell me how to get their songs yeah. geng 70s babies if you guys have/know anything about this band, pls let me know.

gracias.

before i sleep tonite

i just talked about cerita org mati, tgk2 tonite 2 of my neighbours just passed away. one died of cancer and the other was of dengue. guard depan umah yg cakap. at first i ingat orang kawin. parking area umah mcm sendat gile.

*

i just got back from lepaking with Amoi and Nini in Bangsar. merapu berlawak and mencuba pelbagai perkara baru. but keseronokan tu tergencat when ben's gf called me and told me that she slipped at my sliding door and ben was asleep upstairs and she couldn't move. and she was outside.

the two of them had a fight. ben had his hp off. and his gf with was crying at the door (i rasala from the way she talked to me. she was sobbing). when i came back, i saw her there at my sliding door belah tepi rumah. i tried to move her, but she said sakit. she cant move. i actually thought she had a slip disc or something like that. then when i woke ben up, when he went to see her, then ben said, ni dia tak makan la ni. it is her gastric. adeh. drama sgt. i went out to get some food for her, which she couldn't telan pon. she passed out when ben dokong dia masuk umah. adeh. drama lagi skali.

i seriously taktau nak buat apa, but ben dah angkat dia pegi jumpa doktor. so, ok la kot now between the two of them. :D

*

i met anies in bangsar. funny that Shaq just told me about her and i met her. wanted to ask some stuff, but she was there for threading. so wouldn't want to bother her while she had her treatment. next time. Shaq, u patut ajak i lepak sekali la weh.

*

umah baru nini best gila. mcm nak pegi selalu, like i used to during those days in UM. tp, Nini plak skang dah kawen. darn. huhu. next time gf, tell me beforehand when Sailam is offshore. leh plan properly *grin*

*

bilik i mcm tongkang pecah. i had billions of baju yg berlipat on my bed, colour-coordinated lagi, but couldn't find time and the space to chuck them in. nak derma ke rumah anak yatim, baju ni mcm buruk2 la plak. selain daripada baju2 buruk ialah baju2 souvenir - from korea dari azni yg i tak pnah pakai, from langkawi dari anim yg i lom try and from jakarta dari ellya yg i rasa i tak muat kot. :D kol bape bleh tido ni?

before i end, just wana share this song with u guys.





i used to think if i could realize i'd die
then i would be a lot nicer
used to believe in a lot more
now i just see straight ahead

that's not to say i don't have good times
but as for my days
i spend them waiting

crash sites keep me up at night
impact division it splits in two
directly underneath you

as for those things (as for those things)
that act as markers in your life
but in between (but in between)
you can't remember
and so it seems (and so it seems)
that you've grown up and over me (up and over me)
and these silly things (these sill things)
i like to dwell on

test sites keep me up at night
chainlink and meters
i talk to you
it's cold out there
but i'm telling you
i'm lonely too

facts versus romance
you go and call yourself the boss
but we're not robots inside a grid

text versus romance
you go and add it all you want
still we're not robots inside a grid

zeros and ones

cerita kawan-kawan

i just read Amai's blog on multiply. She wrote the entry around September. and i just read it now, in December. teruk betul.

anyway, the content of her blog was sad. she was talking about one of our best friends, fairuz or kakyuih nama manja dia, who died several years ago. the year we all just got ourselves our first job. gosh. am so sad to think about it. we went to Sg Petani that night.

on the bed, when we arrived on the hospital, kak yuih was obviously unconscious. her mother found her in the house, cold, with white bubbles coming out of her mouth. yeah, she had fever for a week then. and i think she planned to see a doctor that evening. but it was all too late. nobody was at home. until 5pm. and we got the news at around 7-8 that night.

cut the drama short, we slept in the car, we waited for her to wake up. but she didnt. but still we went to see her. and yeah, she had tears in her eyes. i bet she was listening to our prayers. the doctor said that her brains were all bloated. and they couldn't promise us much. we left that afternoon, after her mum coaxed us into not skipping our job for another day. she promised us that kak yuih is gona be ok.

we were already in rawang when Dekwan called. He said kak yuih has passed away. we had to stop the car to the nearest R&R. we cried our lungs out. not knowing what to do. if we should turnaround and head back to Sg Petani. owh how much i've missed her. Sedihnya rasa. she was young. we were all 24 or was it 23 then. Death knows no age. She was going to get engaged to her new bf that she has yet to announced to us.

and as Amai wondered out loud if any of our friends is gona pray for her when she's gone, i had to ask the same question too. and just as much as we want friends to think of us and pray for us, have we done enough. do we think of our friends and pray for them too?

to kawan-kawan Jenan, you guys are family. love all of you.

to friends, let's sedekahkan al-fatihah to kakyuih, shaizul, izzat and to those that have gone before us.

careful

i started my day today with a smile. i had a really good start with the right CD on my player while driving to work. well not exactly work, but to the office and doing nothing just yet.

however, a so-called friend has to spoil it by insulting the whole PCF gang. i mean, c'mon. u can't generalize everyone is as bad as that rotten apple that u have issues with. i know, this is not the first time that i'm getting shit from him, but enough is enough la. maybe it was not meant directly to me, but hey, aren't we all human and there's always room for improvement?

what more now, i have friends who like bitching other friends and when i had to ask, they just couldn't give me a straight answer. so see, next time if u don't feel like wanting to explain anything to a stranger of the gossip, just gossip elsewhere and without me around. i have enough of people treating me as if i am stupid and i can't think for myself.

i wonder why people have to insult my intelligence?

today i have decided on certain things and i think i want to leave it as it be. i am known for being stubborn , so yeah, please do nothing to change my mind, coz i won't.

maybe the competition is sooooooooooo fucking stiff, that everyone is fucking edgy, and everyone tries to probe around your cupboard hoping your skeletons would pop out. and when it does, everyone has to know it, coz everyone wants to see the fall of everyone.

i have to admit, that competition is somewhat necessary when it comes to proving what you are worth, but compete when it is appropriate. not to stab or to jeopardize other people's career.

and please not to think tooooooooooooooooooooo highly of yourself la kan, coz u never know when will be the fall of you. beringat la sikit. hari ni, mmg ko la yang nampak tere, hari lain mungkin hari paling cilanat dalam hidup ko. so just be grateful and jgn la berlagak. bukan pegi mana pon dgn berlagak ko tu.

just to save everyone's face, i think i would stop here. i bet you guys are evaluating or skimming through the list of friends i have and who la in this world would say such things. well, tak perlu la. coz generally anyone could be that kerek person. i bet you can relate this scenario to someone in your office.

so friends, be careful of the people u befriends with. some are plainly there in your life to spoil your day. don't say that i don't warn you.

syahdu

it is malam raya haji tonight. raya haji eve org kampung i kata.

my 4-month course is over. soon it's time for posting. and tonight, after prayers, i have my tears rolling down my cheek. rasa syahdu. the people i've missed. and will miss. the friends who are gone. and are going away. the sins i've committed. and those i might commit.

rasa syahdu. rasa sayu. funny. if it's in kampung right now, i am sure that i won't feel as syahdu. the kitchen and the living hall are gona be bloody noisy with energetic people, from the likes of nenek spore and to the little aida. sume orang kecoh masa malam raya.

but apparently, in this quiet rumah no. 12, i felt so sayu, even with my parents downstairs and ben talking on the phone to the gf sampai tertido.

i prayed for my wellbeing, for contoh lelaki harapan dunia akhirat, for my boss Dato' Husni and wife, for Fahmi, for Amiri, for Pauz, Jany, Burn, for Shahir, for my brothers; Ben and Shahid, for my nenek spore, for my atuk Taib, for Rafiza, for Norizam, for Nini, Amoi and As, for Azni, for my late grandmother.

for all the guys i am leaving behind, huhuhu. sayu gak tu. for all my sins, done and will do. for all my tantrums and temperaments.

to everyone, selamat hari raya haji. maaf zahir batin dari lubuk hati saya.

you don't know me

you know what, i still think that you were not suppose to tease me the way you did. i still don't think of you as a friend. you are just someone i know.

you didn't even know what was the basis of those ejekan my friends were talking about. so by you joining them, as if you know the whole story behind it.

look, it just so happen that you are intimidated by me, and totally feeling insecured that you got to tell me to shut my ego off. well, totally out of the topic but whatever la. i used to think highly of you, but nah. i shouldn't have associated myself with the likes of you.

there was nothing much to learn from you. you are fucking boring. and you got to repeat whatever things i said. or whatever that my friends said about anything. loser. have your own opinion la. if not, then ask. if you seriously don't know, we wouldn't mind. but acting like you know so much, and obviously you didn't, memang memualkan. i was fucking embarassed to introduce you to my friends.

please, just go away. dejame sola!!

Marriage

i wonder why it is so 'in' to take marriages lightly.

i wonder why people no longer recognize the sacredness of such ceremony. i think marriages have lost its meaning when people no longer regard it as a sacred institution.

i am not here to preach. am just here to share my thoughts on what i perceive of marriage. i wouldn't mind if a person couldn't work his or her marriage out because it was not on consensus between both parties. now what i can't digest at all are those people who marry each other out of love that wouldn't mind sacrificing a wee bit of trust just for the sake of shortlived thrills and excitements.

open minded though i am, i think i couldn't comprehend infidelities. i am not saying that i am all saint and religious, but i am just so sad that some people take their marriages lightly. and when ugly situation arises in future, you just wouldn't know what to do with life and start regretting every bit of your lust.

i think one should know if one is seriously ready into being tied up to a commitment of a lifetime. perhaps just to spice up some life in you, flirting is indeed agreeable. but infidelities .. gosh! why put yourself into some misery of weddings and ceremonies only to have it abandon later and to be regarded as petty, unimportant, to have it sidelined.

if you think you have a lot more things to achieve and to do and to excite yourself in whatever adventures or sexual thrills that u would want to experience, try not to get married too soon. . owh, unless you don't regard your marriage as sacred,try not to break another heart that has tied to yours and jeopardise the whole holy ceremony and family institutions.

and please don't drag me along as an alibi, just because i am single and carefree , because i don't exactly share the same sentiment. thank you.

situation

i don't know.

i am not too sure if i am alright or if i am not.

frankly, i am just bored. i think when i feel bored, i tend to be quiet and i would not even try to engage on any type of conversation with anyone, unless someone starts talking to me. otherwise, i wouldn't mind not talking or doing anything together.

however, to some friends, by me being quiet, they think i am in a bad mood. it is not exactly bad mood, but i just don't have any. i was just trying to stay alive. do nothing. just breathing. and observing.

perhaps it is my PMS (see how often i blame PMS? LOL)

anyway, perhaps i have a lot in my mind that i don't think appropriate to let it out either. so, by keeping mum about it, it sure has disabled me from communicating too much.

but then i broke someone's heart yesterday. well Nini wouldn't agree to this statement. she thinks (and maybe i have to concur) that the guy did this to himself. so, it was not entirely my fault that i somewhat crushed/grind/mashed his heart to pieces. am sorry but i seriously didn't have much patient when he dillydally-ied around pavilion.

nevertheless, i have to admit, joining some other friends who i don't see often last night was indeed refreshing. at least, i felt that i was in the right company. they made me feel good. they talked about real things. interesting things. issues. books. magazines. games. books. movies. books. books. ok ok i know u got my point now. hahaha.

right now, i don't know what i feel. i just know that i have a lot of things to do. so many things to read. not only reading the books i want to, but there is this upcoming UNSC simulation, and then there is the 'How Global Financial Crisis affects Malaysia' Friday Morning session, and then there is the upcoming trips, and then the presentation of our assignment, and then persembahan in your third language. so tell me, banyak kan things for me to read right now. and i have to admit, i have at least 10 new books that can last me 8 months (if deducted from the rate i am going right now. huhu)

that's the reason why i hate people dillydallying. sbb saya ada banyak benda nak baca ni. heheh.

ok la. talk cock later. i think i might terjun kolam for the moment.

owh btw, did i tell u that just by swimming in the pool you might just feel that you are in space?
will share that with u guys later la.

pls stay friends with me ;)

US presi-den-cy

damn. last week's topic for our journal was 'who do u think is the next US president and why?'

being the ignorant me, i just couldn't care less la kan about who is the next US president. and obviously it was portrayed in my writings about it. after all, it is my BLOODY journal. big deal if i say the real truth. why fake it. why must i act like i m dead smart and write a bloody smart journal on this issue.

and i have this cikgu who find it disturbing that me, being the so-called future "dip**mat", wouldnt care less about the world power?

isn't this my journal and i should be able to write whatever i think? lain la if it is an essay that i need to submit for markings.

gua bengang mcm lahanat ni. US presi-den-cy whatshit could kiss my *** ops, i mean my teacher. whatever la kan. now i cant sleep sbb gua bengang. damn shit.

confession part ke 18 juta

since this is my blog, i have the right to have as much confession as i want to. kan? kan?

i have to admit that i am jealous of the lelaki-yang-saya-ingat-buahhati-saya-tapi-saya-mungkin-bukan-buahhati-dia. i saw the messages left by his exgf on facebook. damnshit sungguh.

i told Burn about it. and funny enough he had to remind me that well, i am too, one of his exgf now and i still write messages to him. damnshit again.

so, i have just deduced that perhaps i am plainly jealous of everything. i am the jealous kinda type now. shit. do i really need to confess?

hahaha. bodo la aku ni. dah la lelaki harapan saya ada gf, bekas lelaki bukan harapan saya pula baik dgn exgf. terencat akal ok. huhu. owh tp the first issue was merely disappointment, that was not jealousy. or was it?

okla, dah abis confess. perasaan pon dah hilang. gila sengal budak ni. ha ha. i have all the president's men to share the bed with me tonight. ;)

excellent, your excellency!

i just attended a dinner talk held by the institute tonight. on ICJ and the Pedra Branca dispute by Tan Sri Kadir. well, am not here to type everything about what was the discussion about. u guys can get that from the rapporteurs, not from me.

the thing that i would like to share with u guys would be about the ambassadors that attended this dinner talk. it was impressive to see how the talk or discussion took place. all of them were once the Malaysian ambassadors everywhere in this world. most of them held high positions in the government or in the Ministry. so it was pretty impressive to see the way they argued and discussed about this serious issue despite that some of them are juniors.

i was so animated by the whole discussion, that i didn't realized that it was already the end of the session until the Executive Chairman had to ask his closing questions. it is regrettable that we did not have this discussion longer.

nevertheless, just by listening to these prominent/important people, i have learn the very essence in becoming an ambassador, if not someone important. and that is knowledge my friends.

ok. too bloody ngantuk already. i'll edit/add/read through this entry later. night all! happy halloween!

short iklan

i really can't be caught blogging at this time, as frankly i am so bogged down by assignments and reports and journals that all need to be submitted by this week. i'll be dead if i were not to type anything in any of those 3. however, here are just some short iklan that i really want to share with u guys, and perhaps if i have more time later, or anytime this week, i'll blog more about it.

i) 89.9FM Bankrupt Fanny Mae

this is a new radio station, well i think la it's new, if u guys know it before me, u sure haven't iklan it to me either. while they are still looking for Super Sales people, they are still playing really good songs and rare ones too. so until all the adverts coming in, and some shrieking DJs irritates our eardrums, do tune in this Business FM. 89.9FM yeah friends!


alamak, i can only write one iklan now. am off to class already. tata. go check this radio station yeah!

can't sleep

i think, i have two reasons for this :

1) tomorrow is our (Edwan and I) turn to defend national interest and our topic is Transparency and Corruption. and frankly friends, i can hardly digest anything any longer. i am too full with words and information that i think another word added to my brains would have me puke my intestines out. heh.

2) lelaki harapan saya apparently has a girlfriend and this is all my fault. i should not have stalked his profile tonight. why la he has to change his status and buzz some interest in me into clicking and reading his profile. darn!

3) eh, dah jadi 3 pulak. frankly, while my brains are running with so many things, the stories that Mr Sat mentioned just now intertwined into my already bleeding brains. darn. now who can sleep in the dark then?

now tell me what am i supposed to do at this hour when my brains can hardly function?

owh shucks and our turn is the first for tomorrow. owh darn.

one great article to share

this one is particularly for LOLA :

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs!

But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

now, doesn't that explains why parting with someone is so hurtful despite when we had them, there wasn't much feeling felt pon at that time?

with this point, it'll be easy actually to forget something that was once ours, once we have another one or another something that fulfils the emptiness or occupies our mind.

more to read about interesting facts here

Ina, kawan Darjah Satu ku

Ina is one of my friend that I've known since Darjah 1. We weren't classmates, but we always compete in this "English Reading Competition- Tahap 1" just to represent the school, which of course both of us did represent the school la.

Ina also moved to Kluang, after I did. and again we met at the same school but with different operation hours. I was in STM (2), she was in STM (1). and i think we met while i was gosok gigi at the pili tepi toilet after lunch hour kot. coz by that time, budak sekolah petang pon dah masuk sekolah, if i m not mistaken la.

Before Darjah 6 ends, i think Ina has moved to JB, while I remained in Kluang.

Fast forward to 3 years later, in MCKK, for Piala Perdana Menteri, I bumped into Ina di padang sekolah while I was heading back to the Dorm (New Wing kot diorang panggil) and Ina was basically heading to Prep Room. We were there for the Debate PPM. for our respective schools. and we bumped into each other, both of us donning tudung, and still, we DID recognize each other. Gila la.

from there on, bila balik cuti, we did call each other up. once in awhile la. I can't remember if we ever write letters though. heh.

Anyway, fast forward to the next 3 years, post-SPM, we decided on pursuing Medicine la kononnya, hence we chose Pusat Asasi Sains as our first/second choice in the UPU form. So we were there, in UM. but we weren't tight buddies. Ina was in a different group, I was in another. She was in Kolej Kediaman Kedua, I was in banyak kolej. heheh.

Fast forward to post-graduation, upon graduating we almost had similar careers. She went to UTM. lecturing, on Information System and Bioinformatics but she studied Artificial Intelligence. Just to note, we didn't graduate together. As the smarter one of the two, Ina graduated earlier and worked earlier than I did. and I later became a tutor in hoping to pursue masters in Pusat Asasi Sains.

However, this is where we have different path. I quit tutoring because I've waited for the contract and SLAB for too long that I decided I need to cari kerja berjawatan tetap and here I am now.

and Ina on the other hand, persevered, worked well, and was sent to Sweden 2 years ago for her Masters, and end of last year, to Manchester for PhD. and now, while she is still there, UTM has announced that upon coming back to Malaysia, particularly UTM, she will be granted jawatan Pensyarah Kanan, and that is DS52. 52 okaaaaay??? Totally DAHSYAT!! u deserve it ok. soon dapat JUSA C la, even without u going to the space!! hehe.

woman, and i am still the machai 41, and u r soon 52??? gila laa! I am so proud of u and of course, i am GREEN WITH ENVY la. gosh, now I am all burning inside, I need to pursue my education as well. I pon nak jadi Dr Rafiqa (bukan MD) hehe.

so this is the lucky girl, the smart one, the one that i envy to my bones, the silly academician that looks differently when she teaches.

woman, i am so proud of you la. when i grow up, i wana be YOU. hehehe. congratulations!

dah, pegi sambung study! ;)

Jom Berlakon di Melaka

Gila ke hapa. The reason for abang khan being awarded Datukship was merely because he acted some scenes in Melaka?

apekeharam alasan ni?

frankly, sebagai anak-tak-jati-Melaka-but-agak-konfirm-tentang-menjadi-keturunan-hang-jebat, i find it preposterous to be awarding a person who hardly has significance to Melaka and merely had some acting scenes there.

kamonla. of all my 27 years of living, i did more than acting in Melaka. i cried in Melaka, i walked to the graveyard in Melaka, i kissed my parents in Melaka, i dated in Melaka, i went for meetings in Melaka, i go shopping in Melaka, i went to the Friends Cafe in Melaka, i took pictures at the Stadhuys in Melaka, i attended weddings in Melaka, my grandmother and my greatgranparents died in Melaka, i visited TokLong Ali, Nek Along, Nek Geh, Atuk Taib, Nek Busu Ini, Nek Ngah Singapore, Nek Ngah Tanjung Keling, Pak Busu Aman, Pak Lang Jaapar and Zahir anak Dato' Ahmad in Melaka, i celebrated Gong Xi Fatt Choy in Melaka, i fasted in Melaka, i had buka puasa in Melaka, i ate Ikan Bakar in Melaka, i celebrated Valentine's Day in Melaka, i celebrated Mother's Day in Melaka.

like, sheesh, obviously i do MORE things in Melaka, and did i just sound like i deserve a Datukship? to add to all my activities in Melaka, i do promote Melaka during hari raya, i do promote Melaka during weekends, i promote Melaka when i dance, i promote Melaka when i behave like hang jebat. but by me merely promoting them, doesn't mean that all the tourists seen in Melaka had to thank me!?! like apekehe ni? nape tak awardkan datukship kepada Azni, pegawai Kementerian Pelancongan yang paling gigih mempromosi bukan setakat Melaka, malah Malaysia ke sekurang2nya Korea Selatan pada tahun 2006???!?!?

but anyway, i have to congratulate Pekji for his effort in writing a congratulatory message to the celebrated Datuk who has yet to confirmed whether he could come for the ceremony. u mmg baik la beb. :P mana nak carik pegawai yang bersikap mulia dan positif macam u? hehe.

all the happy thoughts

(i) laundrymateku, Khairudeng
--------------------------------

tadi, Khai boarded the flight to Chennai. he'll be there for the next 3 years, at least. am so happy for him. at last, after 7 months of waiting and a lil bit of procrastinating, the Government akhirnya decided for Khai to do some kerja yang berguna kepada pelajar kita di sana. :D


Khai, am so gona miss u. tadi i felt like nak tertitis air mata ni ha, but i tried my best to contain my tears, sbb awek hang pon tak melalak, tetiba i plak nangis lebih. hahah. tak sesuai sangat! gila drama betul. hehe. jangan lupa beli kain banyak2 nanti. kita buat bisnes antara benua nanti eh (sekiranya saya tak terpilih untuk posting ke Delhi, that is. LOL)



(ii) kakibukuku, Khairolin

--------------------------

thank you for getting me that book. frankly, it can be any book pon. but the idea that you thought of me when ordering, and had Mr Amir personalizing it is so mengharukan.

and the same goes to bro anonymous and Azni and Shake and Nini, who gave me books as presents. i just love them. thank you.


(iii) kawanbaruku, Zaza
------------------------

i know Zaza through Nini. Zaza is a fashion designer. she is now concentrating on doing beadings on clothings, particularly baju kurung. anyway, the thing that makes me happy is that i managed to create a blog for Zaza to display all her beadworks, and lebih menggembirakan lagi is, SHE LIKES IT. and bukan setakat itu, the dad likes it, her friends like it, akmal azam likes it (gile, tetiba ada azam. huhu)

oleh kerana itu, i would like to share with u guys antara hasil kerja beliau. kalau suka, pls click at the pic yea!

if any of u would want to place orders, err i mean fancy your clothings be revamped, you could either tell me about it and i'd let her know or just get her through beadmeplease@gmail.com.

so, meskipun i just done telling you guys some of my happy thoughts, i have to admit i am pretty moody today. some guy in class who thinks he is so bloody great had to bersikap bagus and give remarks yang pretty offensive to the teacher. tak kisah la if idea/pendapat dia tu bernas ke sampah ke, but please address them in a diplomatic manner la. the words he used were somewhat kasar and he sounded pretty much patronizing la kan. dah tu, he is my partner for next week's public speaking where we have to recite some popular speeches by popular people. err, i didnt mean that Stalin was popular, but err, famous la kot. hehe. whatever la. the point is, i meluat gila dgn mamat autakari kuat ni. rasa nak pukui tengkok dia, biaq patah.

anyway, this is obviously my PMS talking. so, dear menses, pls save me from my own wrath. :P

Khairolin, it is not my birthday..

today.

no, today is not my birthday.

but thank you for the gift!! am totally excited, just by looking at the envelope ;)

( i know that u know when my birthday is *grin*)

today, at the airport, while sending Khai off (my laundrymate ni is going to Chennai for 3 years..sobs), i met K-lynn with her 2 angels. and she gave me a book that Amir Muhammad personally signed and had my initials on it. and that copy was the 188th from a total of only 1000 copies printed.

walaupun i haven't watched KAMI yet, i still would wana thank the casts for the signatures and most importantly, thank you Mr. Amir for signing it with my initials on the front page.

the reason for K-lynn to buy this book was .... err, i let K-lynn do the explaining part. hehe. sbb susah nak terangkan alasan sebenar, was it AKAB, or Mr Amir or basically the KAMI factor that made her thought of me.

anyways, i am flattered and happy gilos for getting me this limited edition book and to Mr Amir, i am looking forward for all the upcoming projects of yours.

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

K-LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNN!! and Mr Amir!!! Muahs. plops. slurps. hehe.

poyo-naut (II)

more gossips on poyo-naut.

at first i thought i only wanted to add this up at my comment section, however i think it's just too sizzling to have it at such a descreet area, hence this new entry of him.

u know what, ni tambahan, he actually charged even schools around the same price (RM2000) and for private sector up to RM10000. What the FUC* is this? damn shit, u bastard. i hate u!!!

ko memang CELAKA haram okaay.

to share, when he went to space he was only U41. with the government being graceful, he was promoted to U48 whereby he enjoys at least RM3000 more than the gaji of a U41. to non-government friends, U41 would get gaji around RM3K to RM4k, that includes some benefits la. so imagine a U48 gaji.

ok this story does not end here, he NOW has demanded a JUSA C post. JUSA is Jawatan Utama Sektor Awam, and they earn around RM9780 to RM18260 (JUSA C to KSN). with the benefits of driver allowance, entertainment allowance, maid allowance, free fuel, and all that.

listen, this Poyo-naut DID NOTHING basically and yet he is rewarded that U48 post, and now he has the guts to ask for JUSA? hey Sir, gila tak malunya!!!!

Ina suggested to write to the Menteri regarding his preposterous, absurd, atrocious attitude. haiya, must it be me? LOL. anyway, am calling all MOSTI or ANGKASA friends to actually do something about this. who does he think he is? lemak kambing sial!!

ok, i need to go to my Spanish class. hasta luego.

to this poyo-naut, Puta Madre. (ni amiri la ajar ni. huhu)

Malaysia's one and only poyo-naut..

i've been meaning to write about this, about this astronaut of ours for quite some time now. it has been an issue around here, but i was a bit lazy to blog these days. not exactly lazy, maybe i was trying to avoid typing anything that could sound harsh and jeopardise whatever connections i have.





u know guys, this Institute wanted him to come here and give a talk and share his experiences with us, ye la, taking about patriotism, about how one can present the country, about his one-and-only-Malaysian-so-called astronaut experience and stuff like that la. basically it was a session with Inspirational People. (which we had quite a number of inspiring people shared a session with us).





after all the introduction over the telephone and explanation done by Eddie (penyanyi Nitrus yang kiut tu), the only respond he got from this poyo-naut was





" but you know that i don't do this things for free, right?.."

kurang ajar tak respon sepatah ayat itu?





i think he was bloody rude. dah la pegi ke angkasa pakai duit rakyat, duit KERAJAAN pulak tu. duit kita semua orang kerajaan ni, and he had the cheeks to ask for payment???? what kind of bastard la kan?





dah la right now, basically he is banking on his one and only astronaut experience, how come he has no shame to be demanding some fees? engkau siapa? what kind of sumbangan have u done for the country? what was the research u made over the space that was totally malaysian and an eye-opener for any scientific leap in and for this country? what was any of your sumbangan at all? i totally can't believe u. u have the guts to be demanding RM2000 just to give a talk for 1 and a half hours, to kakitangan kerajaan, who some had actually work their asses off just to get you to space??





hey look you poyo-naut, even Tun Dr. Siti Hasmah didn't charged us a cent for having a 2 and a half hours session with her okay. shame on you. and Siti Hasmah has done so many things for the country, for the people, served rural areas as a doctor, served the country as the first lady countering all these welfare issues, menjadi berguna kepada rakyat, inspirasi lagi, and YOU, only attended some 2 year course of being an astronaut and went to space for merely what, 10 days, and u came back and expect people treat u like god? tell me, what was your sumbangan again in those 2 lines i mentioned?





i wonder what was it again the reason this poyo-naut was sent to space. and has he come back with some seriously inspiring scientific ideas to be studied back home? or to the world? alahai, takat duduk 10 hari for a once-in-a-lifetime experience, takyah berlagak la. dah la takde sumbangan. dear government, what was the reason la for this fellow to be send anywhere la pon for that matter if he brings no benefit in any sense to the country? dah tu menambahkan perbelanjaan kerajaan lagi. i am totally grateful that Tun Siti Hasmah wouldn't mind spending time with us and shared her vast experience and knowledge with us. dah tu, without hesitant, without fees, and of course, not a bit airheaded.





to Tun Siti Hasmah, kudos to u. you are an angel!





to Sheikh poyo-naut Muzaffar, i so hate the life of you. May someday humility comes your way and by then, you should realized how you are only a molecule in this huge world. shame on you!





p/s: gila emo entry ni. hehe.

1:25 to 1:50 [approximately]

i was reading an Anak Mat Nor's blog when she had this video on her page. and i thought, it mean something to me. and at approximately those minutes, are the things i would want to say to someone. [but the whole scenario does not reflect my situation, and of course, obviously this would not be a recent scenario :p]

what are you doing right now?

correct me if i am wrong, but everyone on facebook loves filling up that column and telling every friends they have, what are they doing right now. :D


i have to admit that i enjoy filling up those columns sometimes to an extend i thought of telling everyone what is it that i've been doing and it seems like endless. haha. in the end, i decided not to.

anyway, regarding that, i realized that how much every one of us fancy sharing with friends the things we do, the things we think of, of how we feel about something. we just like telling.


and even if it's not all direct, or straight to the point, then we just would like to create curiosity among friends, like, "Shake is ...[not sure]." (sekadar contoh hehe)

well i would obviously be wondering what is it that Shake is not sure of, some would to an extend call, some would reply on facebook asking what of that he is not sure of, or most would probably try to act like they don't care when they actually do.


in reality, we would love people to know anything about us, a lil piece of us. whatever it is. and we like the idea of people wanting to know about us. it is flattering actually. not exactly hoping that everyone would like us, or would share our sentiments but having someone to be curious about you or would want to know or listen to pieces of your thoughts, is flattering enough. betul tak?

*

on another note, i have to tell you guys that i m pretty excited this time coming back to Johor. I haven't been home for the past 4-5months. well that was due to the fact that my parents love coming down to KL instead of having us coming back home. anyway, these are few new things or happenings around the Ridzuans life.

i) my parents have just moved to another Company house which is located on the hill, and has a Kuda as a pet on the grounds. I never bela a kuda before in my entire life. huhu.


ii) my rumah Kluang had had a facelift and it has a new colour and the house was in a mess when we went yesterday.


iii) my dad just did a makeover to his old Honda C50 that looks super amazing and sekali tengok, ada juga rupa macam Lambretta.


iv) my mum is gona quit her job for the second time this year. awal tahun was quitting from the government. now its from the private hospital coz they were treating Malaysians badly. keji!

v) nenek is coming to the house later in the evening. apalagi if not for rigorous cake-making activity la. nyum.


vi) my friends of Darjah Satu Biru 1988 in Sekolah Laksamana is gona have a little reunion for being able to locate me over facebook. yippa! am dead excited to meet friends of Kota Tinggi, particularly of Darjah Satu Biru and mostly because they were friends from Tadika Shien Thou. excited gila!!

*

well talking about having a reunion of Darjah Satu, the one who located me was Sri Ram. he remembered me and of course, my name. and when i asked him who else are there in JB/Kota Tinggi still, and he listed all my close friends whom to my surprise were all Chinese and Indians. and i realized there and then, perhaps back in SRK Laksamana i didn't had many Malay friends. those i have was the ones who are bilingual, namely Nazrin, Nazli and Qistina. but these Chinese and Indian friends, when Sri Ram mentioned them all, i realized i was basically in that clan. we played sports together, hang out at each other's place, learn how to cycle together, go eat icecream together, i even plan to larikan diri dari rumah to Jonathan's house. owh, Jonathan is my bestest friend, along with Teh Seng Ooi. (btw, Seng Ooi still couldn't be located after pursuing his studies in US).

i am telling u guys, i miss these friends of mine. and tonight, most probably i'll go lepak2 at Jusco Tebrau with old sets of friends and definitely gona laugh my ass off talking about those days. and you know what, Meera still lives in PUB Waterworks, where my very first boyfriend when i was in Darjah 3 lives. nama dia melayu sangat - Abu bin Ishak. :D

gosh, my excitement can last forever. and Jonathan is still single *wink* hahahaha. now that is indeed something to look forward to, no?

*

well, as my facebook status said, Rafiqa is supposed to be doing something else right now, i shouldn't be in front of Ben's new Compaq laptop and should finish reading that Dragon and Elephant book by now. and plus, to start memorizing Stalin's speech condemning Hitlerite Germany. haish.

*

btw, tadi was not my dad coming back from running errands in Kluang, it was his driver. menggelabah tapir la aku ni. huhu. (btw, talking about menggelabah, my dad is already here and i really got to run some errands. heh.)

last but not least, selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin i wish to all of you. ampunkan segala kelaseran yg pernah terkeluar dari mulut saya, or my aloofness, or my body gesture and especially my annoying facial expression. :D harap maaf ye semua.

btw, gambar kad raya ni i cilok from siapa tah. so, Mr Empunya Kad, terima kasih dan maafkan saya pinjam kad anda ni. Sekian, thank you.

darn

damn, the minute this blogger.com is uploaded, my dad plak sampai. aiseyman.

after so long, Shake..

wow, it has been 12 days since the last time i blogged. i am that lazy these days. anyway, since today is a very special day for a special person, i think i should write something here to commemorate this special day.

hail Shake,

the greatest man,

the smartest 30-year-old alive.

hail Shake,

the day has come,

for us to celebrate this special day.

for all the greatness the world could contain,

i hope it all goes your way.

your existence brought some meaning,

thoughts and understanding

of life, of science,

of every single thing.

happy birthday Shake

and so on Saturday..

and so, i fetched 3 pairs of new baju kurungs at Ecah's..

* with every single pair seems to fit me nicely and of course accentuates my curves.

and so, my parents and i went to the house that i've been fancying for the past few weeks..

* and eventually booked it, and basically making future plans on whats, hows, whens, ..of the house.

and so, i went for my facial appointment with my girlfriends..

* and feeling a little better about how i look with girlfriends finding me losing some substance in this brown skin of mine, and updating ourselves with the latest hottest gossips and love affairs, as always.

and so, i've started reading Snuff..

* the book i bought intentionally for Shake (and of course, pre-birthday reading by me) until i've found out that he already got it. that, and together with the book "The Dragon and the Elephant", primarily to start researching for my China assignment.

and so, i had buka puasa for the first time with my parents..

* after 13 days of Ramadhan, and for the first time, no rice consumed. A healthy and hefty steamboat session with all 5 of us, around my really small dining table in my kitchen. :)

and so, later meeting up the girls again ..

* for Muslim-ly supper (sahor la kiranya), and catching up and of course, to plan for my next white water rafting activity. yippie!!

and so, i seriously didn't thought that this Saturday was really pack until it's almost the end of the day. so how was your Saturday? i sure hope u guys had a fulfilling one.

hasta manana!

in denial

do u think that ego actually acts as morphine, to buffer pain?

and what if u have little ego? or almost selfless?

would pain be really painful, or still feel the same?

does pain comes in scales, from little pain to the most painful?

or would it only be in our thoughts?

and like morphine, does ego need to be sustained, in hoping that we could bear pain?

and ego simply hurts.

it does. it dents the heart.

cerita kartun

korang nak dengar cerita kartun terencat akal tak? hehe. i rasa terencat lagi merencatkan sangat sekarang ni.

anyways, i have just become a stalker and checked through lelaki harapan saya's profile on facebook. and to my bloody surprise, he has a lady friend that he took photo with which i find pretty intimate la.

and there goes harapan saya which i just shared with you guys last night. heheh. and i called nini just to bitch about it and of course, she thought i shouldn't be putting all my eggs in one basket. of course not. u crazy or what? :D

nevertheless, i rasa kartun sangat. but then again, as i said before, seeing is not necessarily believing. despite it may be true, but i m not a person that can judge without clarification. they could be just friends, no? gambar saya dgn kawan2 lain pon intimate jugak, ye dak? hehe.

dah la. i am feeling slightly cartoonish. after all i got something to do later. first, attending barbecue cum buka puasa at Safuan's (despite i'm not even fasting today) and later meeting up a 'commercial' bf to straighten things up.

so adios amigos. hasta luego!

bermatlamat

remember that i once mentioned i would like to speak a third language with my significant other? remember?

well. i have found someone who would be able to speak to me in my-actually-seventh-language (spanish) in future. i just hope that he'll become my significant other. just to add, he could at least speak to me with my first two languages, Malay and English, and bit of my sixth - Japanese. (menarik tak mamat ni? what do u guys think? :D)

and since i have just done watching 'the secret' DVD, i better put my mind into having him as my significant other. hehe. ni kira doa la kan?

*

of late, i've been dating quite frequently. the past few weeks i even met my ex-bf, fadzli, whom i thought i might just have a lil bit of feelings when i lay my eyes on him. however, upon meeting him last week in Damansara, i realized i have not a bit of feelings left for him. the only thing i wanted was our friendship back, and that was because we were friends before we were lovers. he was of course partially my type, but not much of him any longer is.

remember i wrote about my adorable date somewhere in last week's entry? that guy is seriously hot. he has a nice body and he is an Interior Designer. well fadzli is a graphic designer. so this guy fits my interest in arts and things like that. well, let's call him Hot Young Man (HYM eheh.) so HYM ni apart from all the good things about him, he is a year younger and somewhat speaks less English (habla un poco Ingles). so some points deducted there because sometimes he just couldn't get what i am saying. walhal tahap english i ni dah rudimentary ni.

then somewhere around last week i met a guy who fancied me ever since i broke up with fadzli, his ex-coursemate in Uni. a graphic designer too. but the only thing he could talk about is his hair, hair, hair. but frankly, years ago, i told him that me and him can never be together. i just don't have the hots for him, despite he is cute and he appears in posters kempen membaca. hehe.

and then, i met few other male friends, whom i think they are good looking, somewhat interesting, but then, they just couldn't retain my interest for long. conversations somehow seems lack of substance, or no intellectual value, i mean i don't mind talking cock, but i can't do that ALL the time. it's just bloody boring la kan.

so, when i have to evaluate all the dates that i went out with, which i can't deny that i actually had fun hanging out with them, they just couldn't be as interesting as the multilingual guy. well actually language is not the point here, it's him being interesting. him being smart, educated, knowledgeable and speaks the same language as i do gets my attention, my utmost attention that is.

*

after typing this whole thing, i just realized how chick-lit kinda writing this is. i know Shake u r smirking at the screen. and u obviously won't respond to this entry. However, as pointed by Shake, i actually do write all this chick-lit despite frankly, i don't read chick-lit, nor i buy them. if i do read them, it's because i m out of books and i borrowed Aina's or Zati's or any of my girlfriends. and here i am, typing about men, my 'womanly' issues, relationships and girlfriends. hehe. What, am i the next Carrie Bradshaw? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu. i swear i can't wear a dress with that HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE bunga on her shoulder. LOL.

gastronomical affair

As 25 August come and go, so does my monetary capabilities. As the week has been full with social obligations regarding food, huge amount of money has been spent wisely (at least I would like to think so) and unforgivably.

From the night of 25th, 6 friends of IDFR had forked out at least RM50 per person in savouring good delicate taste of food in Chili's KLCC. As I always have a weakness for red meat, I end up eating grilled lamb accompanied with creamy mashed potatoes and fries.

On Thursday afternoon, along with Senor Gutierrez and all my a-little-bit-of-Spanish-speaking friends went to Gaucho Grill and spent RM47+ on a beef steak set, complete with free flow of salad servings. This specialty has enabled Amiri to serve himself a good 3 rounds of salad, and without fail, manage to get his medium rare steak all chewed and settled in his stomach.

Before the night comes and another eating obligation is scheduled, Amiri and I had to have a real good swim for we need to get our stomachs hungry again in order to bear with the next heavy meal planned a week earlier with the IDFR lots. In the rain and ignorant of whatever natural disaster that might come while swimming under the rain, we had at least half an hour good water-stroking session that managed to cramp our stomach muscles and to eliminate all traces of red meat consumed during lunch.

By 8, we were already in Al-Rawsha, located in Jalan Damai for Nasi Kambing session. Being hungry and all, having the food served at almost 9 had made us crazy and we basically filled our time by an intense photographing session with the whole bunch of DTC 2/2008. The moment Nasi with Ayam arrived, the Ayam gang was all silent and was busy gobbling down their portions and ignored the rest of the Nasi with Kambing gang, and when Nasi Kambing came into vicinity, no one was able to talk as we were busy attending to our own cravings.

The next day, 29th of August, my best friend Nini along with 2 other best friends of mine, Amoi and Asmara spent our time together in Pavilion as Nini wanted to treat us for dinner in the Chocolate Restaurant. I have to tell you that the drinks served were splendid and was all filled with mouth-watering diet-crashing chocolate. It was a night that all-womanly-chocolate-cravings were fulfilled and rewarded. However, as I was a bit under the weather, I decided to have tea after dinner and dragged all my girlfriends along to Starbucks later that night.

As the week approaching to its end and soon it's Merdeka Day, my parents came to KL on the 30th August to celebrate their 28th Anniversary with me and my brothers at the Cruise Tasik Putrajaya. Dinner served on the cruise was prepared by Shangrila Hotel Putrajaya and managed to turn my purse into ashes as I have to fork out half the bill with my brother that cost us RM700 plus in total. Crazy. But then again, what is money compared to my parents happiness and to everything they have given and spent on us throughout our lives.

All in all, I have to conclude that this was indeed the greatest gastronomical week, with or without me spending money on it. Burp!

believing

seeing is believing

or so we thought. and after experiencing so many things in this 27 years on earth, i don't think i can believe everything that i see. i don't even believe everything that i hear. where has my blind faith gone? well, not exactly faith, but trust. i know it's not easy to build trust, however i trust a friend easily. that has become me. however, after realizing so many lies after such a long time, there goes trust. friendship has possibilities to remain as it is, but trust lies no longer between 2 mortal souls.

i am sceptic upon looking on certain situations, and it would seem that i am hard to satisfy or to be impressed by things. but i am not that. i always believe that anything can happen in this world. nothing seems impossible. and nobodies can actually be somebodies and vice versa. however, all talk but no show would of course mar my perception about it. about whatever the subject is. and not believing in it is something i feel right now.

birds of the same feather flock together

despite not fancying the idea of people only run together with their equals, meaning i don't believe in perbezaan darjat or anything like that, i can't help it but to agree to a certain extent the truth that lies in that idiom, or whatever u call this. despite me being open minded and very much adaptable to people and surroundings, i believe there would lie a threshold in my adaptabilities.

and you would realize no wonder these aren't the feathers u flocked with before, coz to some point, commonalities or sharing the same interest would be THE thing that makes people gel together. differences are okay as long as u give allowances to it. but having everyone wanting you to succumb to them, or by u wanting everyone to succumb to you and your oddities, adaptability is not a word that could sustain your friendship. that would not even sound like friendship. either its worshipping or slaving, u pick.

by the way, just to report, my date yesterday was totally adorable *blush*

limits

i guess everything has its limitations. and if they don't have any, then being humans, we would put a limitation on many things. and that is how i am feeling right now. i think whatever that i have been puttting with now has reached its limits.

i wonder why to some that what matters is how they think and mostly how they look? why some people actually could grow up in this world without ever taking into considerations whatever other people might have thought?

how anyone could feel a bit superior over others when we are all born equals? how could we let materials or possessions be the mark of success? why some people think that they are always better off than the others? why their preferences mattered, and ours don't ? what makes them think the world revolves around them and only them despite realizing that the world is full of other people?

and throughout the week, this is all i have noticed. it comes in abundance. and it repeats itself over and over again. with or without the same character. acting out the same attitude. facing the same scenario. all heads are ballooned, stucked to the very ceiling.

everyone else is taking each other for granted. no one thinks beyond themselves. beyond their very skin. they have limit themselves in that brown organ of theirs. why one is unable to be selfless?

i have no desire of writing in words what actually happen throughout the week that has made me conclude them in those questions above. to a certain extent, exact situation or problems are just too minuscule an issue that they should be magnified and be related to the real world. and in doing that, to relate them all to the people and the surroundings they are in.

not that i don't have any interesting meetings or dates or discussions made throughout the week, but i guess it's high time for me to address these questions, as i have mentioned before, because i think i might hit the limits i have pretty soon.

in order not to be broken or bended or rot or crushed by the pressure that is hitting on my 'limitation' walls, i decided not to be bounded by space and have put more steps into other livelihood and embrace life in the 'outer' space.

what monday is today?

what kind of monday is today?

i thought tonight i would blog about how great my weekend was. indeed i had a splendid weekend. however, what happen today in class just made me feel really bad.

last week, we had to submit a journal. knowing that 14 years ago, for 5 years i have been writing journals every week, i took it for granted that it would be the same this time. i submitted an entry that i didnt give much thought of only to find that my English teacher commented more on my grammar and tenses than on my issues.

well frankly there was not much issue posed in my entry that day, i even had a few topics i wrote in it. however, she thought that i wasn't focus on what topic i wanted to write about. the thing is, it was said that THIS IS A JOURNAL. don't u write your daily events on a journal? your day-to-day, minute-by-minute event in it?

i know my grammar is totally disastrous, but what the hell la kan. i never thought it mattered when writing in a journal. and now, with all the corrections made by her, should i be rewriting that journal again? *ucker betul la.

ok, i shouldn't take this personally. this should be taken as a lesson learnt. i should by now realized that i m not perfect, that i m not great at all and obviously i don't write too well. but who the hell cares, coz tonight, i have a date, with a damn hot guy. and this english grammar should not get into my way.

shoooh! i deal with you later. hmmph.

Jam Tissot Bulat Lelaki Mata Sepet

would it make me any adorable when i've wished a friend 'happy birthday' 2 months early?

thank god Ida find me adorable for thinking her birthday was 14th August instead of 14th October. i guess i must have got the wrong person, coz i am quite sure someone's birthday falls yesterday :D

anyway, i want to tell u guys that i had a great time shopping with Azni and had a speedy thoughtful chat with Shake (and the silent Azni) today.

i asked Shake just now, what will he do if he knows now of a person who likes him all this while? and he gave me the question back with a prominent answer. and i said, i can do nothing about it. and yes, that's exactly it. so what with a known new fact?

and this simply got me thinking, so why Knowledge is Power then? if at most times, having known something just won't change anything, how could knowing anything be beneficial or be powerful? ok ok. u optimistic lots, i know what u got to say. am I not an optimist too? but then again, let's just think this at a different angle.

knowledge is only powerful if we obtain the relevant knowledge and/or knowing what is it for and/or knowing where to channel it to. then would that knowledge be powerful, be important, be significant for that matter.

so, let me ponder my question again. if I got to know someone likes me all this while recently, what can i do about it? i know, if the person is someone i fancied too all this while, then that could be a sign to proceed with the first step, DATING! and so what if dating means going to a funfair, getting on a 360degree ride looking over Damansara and TTDI and be stalled for a minute or less at the highest point of the thrilling machine? ;)

the destination (or place in this case) does not matter, the journey does (and that includes good companion!)

Knowledge is Power (by choice!)

Night!

Chilling the Chiling way

last saturday, me, Khai, Azni and Nuz got nothing better to do but to get ourselves all scratched right in the middle of nowhere along a river called Chiling in Kuala Kubu Baru. 5 years ago, me and my cousin and her friend went to seek for this Air Terjun in Chiling without any signage to help us around. but this time around, with all the signage, it sure does so much good to the 4 bunch of towners with KFC in their hands, in search for the ultimate M&M (makan and Mandi) place.



my idea of unwinding was waking up in a room that faces the ocean, with my curtains flapping by the sea breeze, am wearing all white, breakfast in bed, with my favourite book, good music, good friends scantily dressed (or not..hehe) without any interruptions from the tv or mobile phones. basically lost in a beautiful lazy world.




however, this Chiling trip has proved me wrong. i now realized that my best/favourite way of unwinding has to be an experience with calar balar on my skin, right under the hot hot sun, with wet soil under my feet, with friends almost fully clothed, and a plastic full of KFC and a bottle of Sirap Ros.





the sweat, the river, the trekking, the daun berduri, the salah jalan, the panjat batu, the turun bukit, the rama-rama, the ulat gonggok besar betis Nuzul, the daun bergulung in Khai's palms. the wet underwears and the wet bras, it all pays off once we managed to get to the air terjun. owh what bliss. the 3-level air terjun was such a splendid sight rasa nak melekat kat batu and panjat to the very top where the water falls first.

thought of undressing ourselves before jumping in the cold water was dismissed after seeing a crowd of people that we suspect could be a group of Budak2 MLM. hahah. no offense, but that's jsut the idea la..





anyway, the whole trip was made complete by us lepaking in the Pekan Kuala Kubu Baru, doing nothing but makan like nobody's business and disambung dengan mengepau Azni in the old Kopitiam in Taman Melati (eh, tmn melati kan?) before she could reach to the doors of her car, parked near there.

all in all, i had so much fun. i hope we can do this again this week :P u guys are plain crazy. thank you people.

Nuz, sorry la for this late entry. dah la net kat umah dah kena potong sebab ben tak bayar, then dok kat sini i seriously dont have much time to go blogging. :P

sorority sunday

okay. got to make this short. its 12.39am and i am basically unprepared for the next 4 month's course in I*FR.

people, 10 hours of Sex and the City with my girlfriends is indeed melebamkan. LOL. this is the best sunday ever. woke up at 9-ish. 10-ish, As was here. 11-ish, Amoi is here. Out for late breakfast. to 7-e for drinks and junkfoods. 12pm start marathoning. 12.30, Nini's here.

Marathoning from Season 1.

Break at 5. my dvd player has gone kaput. sounds were no longer there. maklumlah, cap kambing aje pon. (nuz, u remember which one dont u. heheh) . went to jusco, did some shopping, a new dvd player, a dvd cleaner, had late lunch, bought more drinks.

back at home. Marathon resumes at 6.45pm. till 10.45pm. crazy. me and Amoi dozed off a lil in between. then out for Supper, or late dinner. gossiped like nobody's business. like we haven't seen each other for at least a decade. crazy! reruns of scandalous rendezvous was the PRIME topic.

now home. need to pack. i still have some work to do. but decided, i seriously don't want to work at all on Sunday. hence my crazy sorority Sunday.

to my GFs, this is the best sunday ever. Sambung next season around next weekend or the weekend after okaaay? we at least have err, 5 more DVDs right?

Muahs!

extrovert, of course!

You Are 100% Extrovert, 0% Introvert

You are as outgoing as they come The life of the party, you're friends with everyone You're a people person, and you are quite the entertainer You love being around a crowd and acting spontaneously

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

life : private and public

yesterday, two friends were telling me about their career, whatever working life they have. a fellow friend, a future ambassador somehow was having doubts if this is the life he wanted. he realized that it was too much to juggle. his family and his working career. he was just asking me if all this hard work actually mean anything. would it pay? he was contemplating on being a trainer for he is used to becoming a teacher in his previous life. hehe.

so i asked him, so what happen to you, [insert name] the ambassador? what happen to your dreams. and he said that now he realized why in WP there are plenty of divorcees and singles. and i said, wouldn't that make u a better man if u could defy all that? not to be included in the stereotypes. and that made him ponder a little while.

and me too. i was thinking then, what is that last line, last straw that made u decide that this is not it. that u got to move on, to leave, to change. and at which point do you know this is the right decision. after thinking of my past experiences of the worst department ever i've worked in, i realized there would come to a point that you know that this is not it. but most times, circumstances won't allow u to do anything about it.

but then again, you got to look for the opportunity, like all the time. but in my case, the opportunity comes when i was not on my feet. anyway, my point is, it's hard to tell if a decision is the right one. u got to make it right then [after deciding, i mean]

but if u were to ask me if this job was the right decision i made, i can't be sure about it myself. coz the first 2 and a half years, i just can't wait to leave the job. i got the wrong people around me. after moving to two cool departments on earth, i realized i could work with this new set of people. that with the right mindset, and the right people, i now have made this job right for me. no?

despite working in the public sector, it hasn't hamper my private life at all. i mean, the life and the circle of friends i have before joining this service is still there, my friends are still checking on my sanity and well-being. and life is more than just administrative/governmental job.

after typing for so long, now am not sure, what was it i wanted to talk about. [typical of me!] but anyway, just to share my thoughts on this career decision-making thingy, i guess u can never tell if the decision is the best, until u decided to pursue. and then, face the consequences of the decisions u made. and be a man about it.

cheers!

jam Tissot bulat

during ice cream session in alamanda this afternoon, Decent Guy (who apparently lupa about our movie appointment on monday, sudahnye i tgk jugak dgn orang lain) asked me :

DG : so, are u seeing someone right now?

RH : no, i'm not seeing anyone right now....

...and i realized yang ayat tu tak habis sebenarnya, kerana sambungan ayat tu adalah:

"..but someone is seeing me right now."

just to share with u guys, the guy that saya-ingat-dia-buah hati-saya-tapi-belum-tentu-saya-buah hati-dia is now doing nice things to me. but then again, i just take it as it is. am not too excited, nor am i ungrateful.

i told masmera or ecah (cant remember) the other day that i wished to god that'if someone is not right for me, can You just let him go away , and let these feelings be gone too. and i think the heartaches i am feeling could be it. could be exactly the doa i wished for. to let him go away.

now i am more contented. or perhaps bored? haha. or obviously i've found a new superhero to occupy my mind? hehe. to be continued...

tak la. continued mende. just so u guys know, he wears a jam Tissot bulat (err, shake, yours is petak right?? :P)

tees

di pasaran antarabangsa

di dada saya :D

pada si kurus

pada si comel..hahahaha

basically matlamat asal this entry was just to show how much i like that snoopy tee, yang diterima separuh hati (kononnya ) daripada lelaki yang fun, comel, pandai (dan merupakan superhero saya yang baru :D) etc the other day. then i remembered there's another tee that i like , tetapi bukan pula hadiah daripada sesapa but myself. heh. so, there u have it the pictures of tees (and teetees. hahaha)



anyway, last weekend, i had a splendid reunion with my silly old friends. those i built my esteem and intellectual capacity with. and i thought owh we've so grown into full-sized adults. hehe. but our behaviours are like their (note: i dont have any) kids. acara volley sungai, berenang setempat, pelukan tergolek are all crazy activities done with water as the main substance. aktiviti kering atas padang toksah cerita la. we laughed more than we scored. total insanity! (the second picture was taken with my tight friends ie Nini, Shafik, Fisha and Udin. Jumy u should have stayed longer!!!!Anim, u were busy socializing. hehe)

gambar2 aktiviti air haven't been uploaded by my brother onto the website. i can't wait to share the exciting memories with you guys. in the meantime, pls make do with gambar gigi kamil and i yang diambil with my really short hands and i seriously couldn't estimate our body size into the viewfinder. hehe.

am so proud to be a Jenanian product of 9498! friends, u guys rock!!

night!

if this is not love..

if this is not love, what is?

thinking of u every breathing second,
wondering how u are,
if life has been bad for u.

if this is not love, what is?

each time u fall and break apart,
i m there, with open arms,
fetching u there, and keeping u sane.

if this is not love, what is?

in times in need,
no distance can keep me from u,
i'll be there, no matter how far.

if this is not love, what is?

and all my miseries gets your attention,
my empty soul gets your affection,
and time just stop,
the world has only you and me.

if this is not love, what is?

and this is not love.
what is love?
what is what?
if this is not love, what is?

entry yang serius mengada

sebenarnya, saya agak gembira hari ini. saya telah keluar tgk wayang dgn seorang manusia yang sangat baik, dan fun dan comel (kira tak malu la nak bawak gi kenduri kawin hehe) dan pandai. selain daripada wayang, dia berjaya membelanja saya sehelai baju tee walaupun telah ditolak oleh saya (atas dasar tak mahu dilihat spt pisau cukur. :P)


walaubagaimanapun, sebaik sahaja dia keluar kereta, fikiran saya telah menerawang ke lelaki yang telah seminggu tidak menaliponi saya, malah tidak ber-YM langsung dgn saya, mahupun ber-sms dgn saya. lelaki-yang-saya-ingat-dia-buah-hati -saya-tp-belum -tentu- saya -buah -hati -dia ini dengan tiada hujung pangkalnya mendiamkan dan menjauhkan diri (agaknya la) dari saya. saya mcm agak2 nak sedih ni. tp bila saya call ecah PA, nak berkongsi rasa hati, ecah kata, buat apa nak melayan orang yang layan kita mcm sampah ni. kalo saya pegi juga berjumpa dengan dirinya tadi, ia hanya akan melukakan lagi sebab belum tentu dia nak berjumpa dengan saya. lagipun, bukanlah takde orang lain nak tgk wayang (sekurang-kurangnya la kan) dengan saya. ada gak pasaran untuk saya lagi. ni kata si ecah la ni.

maka, selepas saya pikirkan secara ringkas (letih ni nak pikir mendalam at 12am), saya bersetuju dengan pendapat bernas beliau. apa sangatla pon yang saya dapat dalam perhubungan saya dengan dia pon. pengalaman yang ini hanya mengajar saya erti bersabar aje la kot dan memahami cerita2 bolasepak. lain daripada itu, hmm, apa la sangat. maka saya sedar, saya masih seorang yang best. biarla satu orang yang tak mahu dah kawan dengan saya, masih ada lagi 6 yang mahu berkawan dan mungkin berkawen dengan saya. huhu.

eh if u guys think that this is serious, this is sure not. am just feeling kinda useless/used. and i realized i had such a good time going out with a friend just now that i realized too that it has been ages since the last time that i actually had a movie date. err, lama dah kan? hehe. gila ar, bak kata cynthia, i am a serial dater. but i dont think so. i just like socializing. heh.

ok, saya penat ni. intipati entry ni pun tak datangkan manfaat. sebenarnya saya nak komen pasal krisis makanan dan minyak berdasarkan atas laporan2 yang saya kumpulkan, tp saya dah takde energy sgt dah ni. dah abis dipakai ketika berseronok dengan seorang kawan baru (tak la baru sgt..tp baru beramah mesra ;p).

today's horoscope and i should be sleeping right after this

pergh. the longest title ever.

well, well, check this out :-

Today, take special note of the many people you will meet -- because one of your newest acquaintances could turn into a very important person in your future. Whether they're your new love, your new boss, or your new neighbor isn't going to be clear for a while, but this person will be a force to be reckoned with. Doors are opening for you, and you should not hesitate to rush right through them. The time for research, planning and waiting is over.

jeng jeng jeng...

newest acquaintances ? hmm.. *ponder*
- decent guy in the office
- mamat parking lot alamanda
- mr ABM's best friend
- Indonesian FM's driver cum real estate agent who called yesterday
- budak buat t-shirt kawan shafik
- masmera's and pauz's friend who had to treat me for lunch

wow, i made 6 new friends in 48 hours? kentang gak ar. ok, driver tu takla new sgt, but just called me up yesterday atas perkara2 yg bukan rasmi. heh. as for masmera's and pauz's friend tu plak, this is our first meal together without masmera or pauz but with the rest of ABM's friends huhuhu.

ok. seriously, i need this night to be good. good night. ;)

oh my oh my!

i thought i wouldn't be sharing these things with u guys, but good things that makes me feel good just can't be ignored la kan. and plus, it's not once, but now twice, or maybe after typing them out, i might discover more la plak kan.

okay, spill woman, spill!

hehe.

yesterday, there's this one decent guy in my office, who never had breakfast or lunch or anything with me pun. last week he already ajak-ed me for lunch/breakfast, tp masih tak dapat ditunaikan. and this week, he said he would like to ask me out for the movies. anyways, cut the story short, he said to me,

decent guy (dg) :u've got a marvelous smile btw.
budak terlebih sosial yang pemalu (btsyp) : hey, thanks. u just made me blush/
dg : the kind that can light up a room
btsyp : wow. that's something i dont think i can digest. :D
dg : let's just say that ur smile is kinda infectious... in a good way

and i realized now, that well at least someone finds me interesting/attractive.

ok, fast forward to 4 hours ago, that was 10pm, and i was at the parking lot of Alamanda. someone said hi from afar. and i said 'Hi?' but i was already in my car. and he came by, but not too close, he was basically at the back of the next car.

mamat comel whom i think is quite young (mcwitiqy): u work here?
minah comel yang dah 27 (mcyd27) : err, i work around here. why? u work here?
mcwitiqy : no, i work around KLCC.
mcyd27 : owh.. so, yes?
mcwitiqy : i saw u dari tadi. dari dalam.
mcyd27 : owh. a hah.
mcwitiqy : just wanted to know u. boleh ke?
mcyd27 : (perasaan mcm terkejut beruk, tetapi muka maintain anggun c. sasmi) err, boleh la kot.
mcwitiqy : so, where do you actually work?
mcyd27 : i work at kementerian..

bla bla bla. sesi berkenalan la ni. mostly revolves around what-do-you-dos and where-do-you-stays and we-might-just-see-each-other-agains and can-i-have-your-numbers and all that. heh.

mcyd27 : err, tell me where did u see me again?
mcwitiqy : i saw u at the foodcourt, dari tadi. but then i saw u again, around MPH with your friends. and i thought i just wanted to know u.


pergh. am bloooooooooody flattered. niat dia tak murni ke, murni ke different matter la. but having someone out of nowhere wants to know me, gosh. and have noticed me since 8pm at the foodcourt, pergh... meletop!

okay. am suppose to watch a good year tonight, but i think i want to sleep with a smile on my face dan dengan perasaan best gila with that 'hey, not bad huh,hottie? hehehehe. (poyo ke? mampus la. hahahaha)