believing

seeing is believing

or so we thought. and after experiencing so many things in this 27 years on earth, i don't think i can believe everything that i see. i don't even believe everything that i hear. where has my blind faith gone? well, not exactly faith, but trust. i know it's not easy to build trust, however i trust a friend easily. that has become me. however, after realizing so many lies after such a long time, there goes trust. friendship has possibilities to remain as it is, but trust lies no longer between 2 mortal souls.

i am sceptic upon looking on certain situations, and it would seem that i am hard to satisfy or to be impressed by things. but i am not that. i always believe that anything can happen in this world. nothing seems impossible. and nobodies can actually be somebodies and vice versa. however, all talk but no show would of course mar my perception about it. about whatever the subject is. and not believing in it is something i feel right now.

birds of the same feather flock together

despite not fancying the idea of people only run together with their equals, meaning i don't believe in perbezaan darjat or anything like that, i can't help it but to agree to a certain extent the truth that lies in that idiom, or whatever u call this. despite me being open minded and very much adaptable to people and surroundings, i believe there would lie a threshold in my adaptabilities.

and you would realize no wonder these aren't the feathers u flocked with before, coz to some point, commonalities or sharing the same interest would be THE thing that makes people gel together. differences are okay as long as u give allowances to it. but having everyone wanting you to succumb to them, or by u wanting everyone to succumb to you and your oddities, adaptability is not a word that could sustain your friendship. that would not even sound like friendship. either its worshipping or slaving, u pick.

by the way, just to report, my date yesterday was totally adorable *blush*

limits

i guess everything has its limitations. and if they don't have any, then being humans, we would put a limitation on many things. and that is how i am feeling right now. i think whatever that i have been puttting with now has reached its limits.

i wonder why to some that what matters is how they think and mostly how they look? why some people actually could grow up in this world without ever taking into considerations whatever other people might have thought?

how anyone could feel a bit superior over others when we are all born equals? how could we let materials or possessions be the mark of success? why some people think that they are always better off than the others? why their preferences mattered, and ours don't ? what makes them think the world revolves around them and only them despite realizing that the world is full of other people?

and throughout the week, this is all i have noticed. it comes in abundance. and it repeats itself over and over again. with or without the same character. acting out the same attitude. facing the same scenario. all heads are ballooned, stucked to the very ceiling.

everyone else is taking each other for granted. no one thinks beyond themselves. beyond their very skin. they have limit themselves in that brown organ of theirs. why one is unable to be selfless?

i have no desire of writing in words what actually happen throughout the week that has made me conclude them in those questions above. to a certain extent, exact situation or problems are just too minuscule an issue that they should be magnified and be related to the real world. and in doing that, to relate them all to the people and the surroundings they are in.

not that i don't have any interesting meetings or dates or discussions made throughout the week, but i guess it's high time for me to address these questions, as i have mentioned before, because i think i might hit the limits i have pretty soon.

in order not to be broken or bended or rot or crushed by the pressure that is hitting on my 'limitation' walls, i decided not to be bounded by space and have put more steps into other livelihood and embrace life in the 'outer' space.

what monday is today?

what kind of monday is today?

i thought tonight i would blog about how great my weekend was. indeed i had a splendid weekend. however, what happen today in class just made me feel really bad.

last week, we had to submit a journal. knowing that 14 years ago, for 5 years i have been writing journals every week, i took it for granted that it would be the same this time. i submitted an entry that i didnt give much thought of only to find that my English teacher commented more on my grammar and tenses than on my issues.

well frankly there was not much issue posed in my entry that day, i even had a few topics i wrote in it. however, she thought that i wasn't focus on what topic i wanted to write about. the thing is, it was said that THIS IS A JOURNAL. don't u write your daily events on a journal? your day-to-day, minute-by-minute event in it?

i know my grammar is totally disastrous, but what the hell la kan. i never thought it mattered when writing in a journal. and now, with all the corrections made by her, should i be rewriting that journal again? *ucker betul la.

ok, i shouldn't take this personally. this should be taken as a lesson learnt. i should by now realized that i m not perfect, that i m not great at all and obviously i don't write too well. but who the hell cares, coz tonight, i have a date, with a damn hot guy. and this english grammar should not get into my way.

shoooh! i deal with you later. hmmph.

Jam Tissot Bulat Lelaki Mata Sepet

would it make me any adorable when i've wished a friend 'happy birthday' 2 months early?

thank god Ida find me adorable for thinking her birthday was 14th August instead of 14th October. i guess i must have got the wrong person, coz i am quite sure someone's birthday falls yesterday :D

anyway, i want to tell u guys that i had a great time shopping with Azni and had a speedy thoughtful chat with Shake (and the silent Azni) today.

i asked Shake just now, what will he do if he knows now of a person who likes him all this while? and he gave me the question back with a prominent answer. and i said, i can do nothing about it. and yes, that's exactly it. so what with a known new fact?

and this simply got me thinking, so why Knowledge is Power then? if at most times, having known something just won't change anything, how could knowing anything be beneficial or be powerful? ok ok. u optimistic lots, i know what u got to say. am I not an optimist too? but then again, let's just think this at a different angle.

knowledge is only powerful if we obtain the relevant knowledge and/or knowing what is it for and/or knowing where to channel it to. then would that knowledge be powerful, be important, be significant for that matter.

so, let me ponder my question again. if I got to know someone likes me all this while recently, what can i do about it? i know, if the person is someone i fancied too all this while, then that could be a sign to proceed with the first step, DATING! and so what if dating means going to a funfair, getting on a 360degree ride looking over Damansara and TTDI and be stalled for a minute or less at the highest point of the thrilling machine? ;)

the destination (or place in this case) does not matter, the journey does (and that includes good companion!)

Knowledge is Power (by choice!)

Night!

Chilling the Chiling way

last saturday, me, Khai, Azni and Nuz got nothing better to do but to get ourselves all scratched right in the middle of nowhere along a river called Chiling in Kuala Kubu Baru. 5 years ago, me and my cousin and her friend went to seek for this Air Terjun in Chiling without any signage to help us around. but this time around, with all the signage, it sure does so much good to the 4 bunch of towners with KFC in their hands, in search for the ultimate M&M (makan and Mandi) place.



my idea of unwinding was waking up in a room that faces the ocean, with my curtains flapping by the sea breeze, am wearing all white, breakfast in bed, with my favourite book, good music, good friends scantily dressed (or not..hehe) without any interruptions from the tv or mobile phones. basically lost in a beautiful lazy world.




however, this Chiling trip has proved me wrong. i now realized that my best/favourite way of unwinding has to be an experience with calar balar on my skin, right under the hot hot sun, with wet soil under my feet, with friends almost fully clothed, and a plastic full of KFC and a bottle of Sirap Ros.





the sweat, the river, the trekking, the daun berduri, the salah jalan, the panjat batu, the turun bukit, the rama-rama, the ulat gonggok besar betis Nuzul, the daun bergulung in Khai's palms. the wet underwears and the wet bras, it all pays off once we managed to get to the air terjun. owh what bliss. the 3-level air terjun was such a splendid sight rasa nak melekat kat batu and panjat to the very top where the water falls first.

thought of undressing ourselves before jumping in the cold water was dismissed after seeing a crowd of people that we suspect could be a group of Budak2 MLM. hahah. no offense, but that's jsut the idea la..





anyway, the whole trip was made complete by us lepaking in the Pekan Kuala Kubu Baru, doing nothing but makan like nobody's business and disambung dengan mengepau Azni in the old Kopitiam in Taman Melati (eh, tmn melati kan?) before she could reach to the doors of her car, parked near there.

all in all, i had so much fun. i hope we can do this again this week :P u guys are plain crazy. thank you people.

Nuz, sorry la for this late entry. dah la net kat umah dah kena potong sebab ben tak bayar, then dok kat sini i seriously dont have much time to go blogging. :P

sorority sunday

okay. got to make this short. its 12.39am and i am basically unprepared for the next 4 month's course in I*FR.

people, 10 hours of Sex and the City with my girlfriends is indeed melebamkan. LOL. this is the best sunday ever. woke up at 9-ish. 10-ish, As was here. 11-ish, Amoi is here. Out for late breakfast. to 7-e for drinks and junkfoods. 12pm start marathoning. 12.30, Nini's here.

Marathoning from Season 1.

Break at 5. my dvd player has gone kaput. sounds were no longer there. maklumlah, cap kambing aje pon. (nuz, u remember which one dont u. heheh) . went to jusco, did some shopping, a new dvd player, a dvd cleaner, had late lunch, bought more drinks.

back at home. Marathon resumes at 6.45pm. till 10.45pm. crazy. me and Amoi dozed off a lil in between. then out for Supper, or late dinner. gossiped like nobody's business. like we haven't seen each other for at least a decade. crazy! reruns of scandalous rendezvous was the PRIME topic.

now home. need to pack. i still have some work to do. but decided, i seriously don't want to work at all on Sunday. hence my crazy sorority Sunday.

to my GFs, this is the best sunday ever. Sambung next season around next weekend or the weekend after okaaay? we at least have err, 5 more DVDs right?

Muahs!

extrovert, of course!

You Are 100% Extrovert, 0% Introvert

You are as outgoing as they come The life of the party, you're friends with everyone You're a people person, and you are quite the entertainer You love being around a crowd and acting spontaneously

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

life : private and public

yesterday, two friends were telling me about their career, whatever working life they have. a fellow friend, a future ambassador somehow was having doubts if this is the life he wanted. he realized that it was too much to juggle. his family and his working career. he was just asking me if all this hard work actually mean anything. would it pay? he was contemplating on being a trainer for he is used to becoming a teacher in his previous life. hehe.

so i asked him, so what happen to you, [insert name] the ambassador? what happen to your dreams. and he said that now he realized why in WP there are plenty of divorcees and singles. and i said, wouldn't that make u a better man if u could defy all that? not to be included in the stereotypes. and that made him ponder a little while.

and me too. i was thinking then, what is that last line, last straw that made u decide that this is not it. that u got to move on, to leave, to change. and at which point do you know this is the right decision. after thinking of my past experiences of the worst department ever i've worked in, i realized there would come to a point that you know that this is not it. but most times, circumstances won't allow u to do anything about it.

but then again, you got to look for the opportunity, like all the time. but in my case, the opportunity comes when i was not on my feet. anyway, my point is, it's hard to tell if a decision is the right one. u got to make it right then [after deciding, i mean]

but if u were to ask me if this job was the right decision i made, i can't be sure about it myself. coz the first 2 and a half years, i just can't wait to leave the job. i got the wrong people around me. after moving to two cool departments on earth, i realized i could work with this new set of people. that with the right mindset, and the right people, i now have made this job right for me. no?

despite working in the public sector, it hasn't hamper my private life at all. i mean, the life and the circle of friends i have before joining this service is still there, my friends are still checking on my sanity and well-being. and life is more than just administrative/governmental job.

after typing for so long, now am not sure, what was it i wanted to talk about. [typical of me!] but anyway, just to share my thoughts on this career decision-making thingy, i guess u can never tell if the decision is the best, until u decided to pursue. and then, face the consequences of the decisions u made. and be a man about it.

cheers!