i regret on my wasted youth and piano classes that i was never good with scales and arpeggios. i thought playing the 'pieces' are more important than knowing so much of notes and chords.
arrrrrrrrrgh..i know now. if ever i was good doing it, i would make not only my piano teacher proud, but i'd make the whole world crying at my feet for me to play more.
yes. it took me a good 1 1/2 hour MUSE tutoring to make me understand. owh, how i envy the fingerworks of Matthew Bellamy. i was drooling and gawking at his very fingerworks over the keys and of course , of the strings.owh, his fingerworks was godly. and all he needed was scales and arpeggios. he made the very thing i hated easy. SERIOUSLY EASY!
how i've wasted on an expensive education. sigh. owh god, now i feel like getting back to my piano keys and start practising my scales and arpeggios til my fingers bleed.
or maybe perhaps he had a better piano teacher than i did when i was young? hmm that'll explain. haha.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
dreams
yesterday, i thought of ina. she being in sweden. pursuing her masters. and soon , her PhD in manchester. thinking of her, brought me to someone else. i thought of Ca. she being in UTM, then now in UM. pursuing her masters. and being a cool tutor too.
and i thought of us. the time when the 3 of us in JB talking bout nothing else but our dreams. that was way before the ptd thing came into our way..ops no..MY way. not to say that it came into my dreams, but came into the path i dreamed of.
we made a pact to have our own text books . to teach and educate public on the things we love. and trying to prove that ACADEMICIANS can be really cool , when the academicians are US.
we promised on having the same pose at the back of our books. and out of the 3, i'm like the only one who isn't making the slightest progress. and it bugs me each time i think of it. >sigh<
(owh, talking about the math text book, i haven't heard of any news regarding the text book i once helped writing. but perhaps we won't be seeing it on our shelves, coz it caters the maldives or mauritius or some island secondary school. hmm)
to fellow friends, do remind me of this particular dream so that i know what i'm doing now for.
p/s:btw, i think 'academicians are US' sounds like a band's name :D
and i thought of us. the time when the 3 of us in JB talking bout nothing else but our dreams. that was way before the ptd thing came into our way..ops no..MY way. not to say that it came into my dreams, but came into the path i dreamed of.
we made a pact to have our own text books . to teach and educate public on the things we love. and trying to prove that ACADEMICIANS can be really cool , when the academicians are US.
we promised on having the same pose at the back of our books. and out of the 3, i'm like the only one who isn't making the slightest progress. and it bugs me each time i think of it. >sigh<
(owh, talking about the math text book, i haven't heard of any news regarding the text book i once helped writing. but perhaps we won't be seeing it on our shelves, coz it caters the maldives or mauritius or some island secondary school. hmm)
to fellow friends, do remind me of this particular dream so that i know what i'm doing now for.
p/s:btw, i think 'academicians are US' sounds like a band's name :D
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
and i feel like...
at this very moment, i feel like my guts are all splattered on the floor, and i feel like an invertebrate. and i feel like sliding of the seat, and i feel like puking, and i feel like i dont wana move at all, and i feel like splurging on something, and i feel like indulging into something really fattening and gorge myself to death.
and i feel like meditating and confine myself in my room doing nothing but to stare into infinity and i feel like going somewhere far and be lost in the strangeness of the city or be lost in the wilderness.and i feel like running forever til my legs give up.
and i am sick to my pit.. right about now.
and i feel like meditating and confine myself in my room doing nothing but to stare into infinity and i feel like going somewhere far and be lost in the strangeness of the city or be lost in the wilderness.and i feel like running forever til my legs give up.
and i am sick to my pit.. right about now.
Monday, February 19, 2007
lost..and yet to be found
friends,
i've lost a good friend
does anyone sees her anywhere?
she doesn't seem to be taking my calls, nor my texts.
i seriously am missing her
is she avoiding me?
owh, how it hurts..
girlfriend, i AM missing u.
where are u???????
i've lost a good friend
does anyone sees her anywhere?
she doesn't seem to be taking my calls, nor my texts.
i seriously am missing her
is she avoiding me?
owh, how it hurts..
girlfriend, i AM missing u.
where are u???????
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
second best
have u ever thought about getting anything second best?
have we ever opted for second best , for not being able to obtain the best?
is second best really okay, or should we actually wait for the best to come along the way?
and how can we tell that the best would eventually come?
have u ever thought of this?
at times we are living up to whatever is second best for us.
do we care?
are we actually bothered about being or getting the best?
or basically it's merely our 'wants'., and not much of a 'need'?
is second best considered good enough, but if it's the best that means you got more than enough?
and the best for me, could be the second best for someone else. and vice versa.
perhaps i couldn't be the best. but i wouldn't want to be second best.
but why not? i can't explain. am just being human. we always 'want' the best and to be the best.
have we ever opted for second best , for not being able to obtain the best?
is second best really okay, or should we actually wait for the best to come along the way?
and how can we tell that the best would eventually come?
have u ever thought of this?
at times we are living up to whatever is second best for us.
do we care?
are we actually bothered about being or getting the best?
or basically it's merely our 'wants'., and not much of a 'need'?
is second best considered good enough, but if it's the best that means you got more than enough?
and the best for me, could be the second best for someone else. and vice versa.
perhaps i couldn't be the best. but i wouldn't want to be second best.
but why not? i can't explain. am just being human. we always 'want' the best and to be the best.
L*O*V*E
WEIRD. a day to celebrate love. a day to be all psyched up to meet love ones. to do exciting things together. or the least is to have special celebratory dinner...
and i start my day with tears..
it all started yesterday. was out with bunch of friends. we were talking about everything but love. odd innit. anyway, somehow it gets to a point where i got to know that people around me lost their loved ones, and acted normal around me.
that all gets me thinking of my loved ones. how i always have them by me. despite of the distance, i know these people love me. them being my parents. and yet, perhaps i haven't played much role as an obedient and loving daughter. and that makes me tick.
and this morning with teary eyes, i prayed for my loved ones; my lonely mum at home, my dad that's far away, to my grandmas and grandpas that have long gone, to my fren who lost his loved ones (without wanting me to know about it), and to all who felt love for their loved ones. god bless their souls.
at this very minute, thinking of such things gets my tear ducts busy. i feel the need to share so much love. i hope i get you guys to start ponder , of how much love have u showered.
love is not only a word to be expressed, but to be embraced and to be shared through acts of kindness.
with that fellow friends, i wish u all happy valentine's day. a day to remind how much love we have.
love,
yours truly.
and i start my day with tears..
it all started yesterday. was out with bunch of friends. we were talking about everything but love. odd innit. anyway, somehow it gets to a point where i got to know that people around me lost their loved ones, and acted normal around me.
that all gets me thinking of my loved ones. how i always have them by me. despite of the distance, i know these people love me. them being my parents. and yet, perhaps i haven't played much role as an obedient and loving daughter. and that makes me tick.
and this morning with teary eyes, i prayed for my loved ones; my lonely mum at home, my dad that's far away, to my grandmas and grandpas that have long gone, to my fren who lost his loved ones (without wanting me to know about it), and to all who felt love for their loved ones. god bless their souls.
at this very minute, thinking of such things gets my tear ducts busy. i feel the need to share so much love. i hope i get you guys to start ponder , of how much love have u showered.
love is not only a word to be expressed, but to be embraced and to be shared through acts of kindness.
with that fellow friends, i wish u all happy valentine's day. a day to remind how much love we have.
love,
yours truly.
Monday, February 12, 2007
how accurate :D
| You Are 25 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
what women want
'3- Know what women are looking for
Women are strange creatures!
Often they’ll say they want one thing and then turn around do the exact opposite.
For instance, they often talk about wanting a “nice guy”, but they’ll usually ditch the nice guy for the “bad boy”.
Basically women want a lot of things in their lives. They want excitement, fun, security, adventure, etc. By knowing what women want, you can show how you’ll fit into their ideal candidate for that role.'
this is an extract from an article i read today. it's hilarious but nonetheless true. i cant help but laughing. to the article, to myself, to the writer, and to women in general.
how fickle-minded women are. no offence ladies. but do embrace some weaknesses of ours and be a 'woman' about it. hahah.
bet you girls are thinking or listing down things u might not really want in life kan? :D
cheers.
Women are strange creatures!
Often they’ll say they want one thing and then turn around do the exact opposite.
For instance, they often talk about wanting a “nice guy”, but they’ll usually ditch the nice guy for the “bad boy”.
Basically women want a lot of things in their lives. They want excitement, fun, security, adventure, etc. By knowing what women want, you can show how you’ll fit into their ideal candidate for that role.'
this is an extract from an article i read today. it's hilarious but nonetheless true. i cant help but laughing. to the article, to myself, to the writer, and to women in general.
how fickle-minded women are. no offence ladies. but do embrace some weaknesses of ours and be a 'woman' about it. hahah.
bet you girls are thinking or listing down things u might not really want in life kan? :D
cheers.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
moodswing
i don't care now. i don't wana be an optimist now. i'm totally feeling at the lowest point.
i don't care, really. am putting my guards down now. am feeling seriously like crumbling inside me.
and this dewa song i'm listening now (dua sejoli) is totally not helping.
and so what it won't work the way i wanted. at least i did something. i made my point.
like ameer said, if i were to have balls, i actually had cut them up and served them on silver platter.i seriously had balls doing what i did. what was i thinking?
ok ok. breathe woman. breathe. haha. am feeling bloody stupid now. seriously. ina, pls keep to yourself me being stupid tonight.
anticipations makes u do stupid things. they actually do and i seriously did it. gila!!!!!!
i don't care, really. am putting my guards down now. am feeling seriously like crumbling inside me.
and this dewa song i'm listening now (dua sejoli) is totally not helping.
and so what it won't work the way i wanted. at least i did something. i made my point.
like ameer said, if i were to have balls, i actually had cut them up and served them on silver platter.i seriously had balls doing what i did. what was i thinking?
ok ok. breathe woman. breathe. haha. am feeling bloody stupid now. seriously. ina, pls keep to yourself me being stupid tonight.
anticipations makes u do stupid things. they actually do and i seriously did it. gila!!!!!!
issues
here i am being 25 years and 8 months old and and my head is full with so many things to worry about. i may not want to admit it, what more to look like it but then hanging out with nuz the whole day opens up that section that i've been trying to shove at the back of my mind.
at one point, every single friend of mine could only know a portion of problems that i'm facing. i don't fancy disclosing it all. and plus i rather not be thinking of it.but perhaps since me and nuz were in the middle of it, and were discussing bits and pieces of our problems, and there it goes. we blurt it out the very details of our problems. and we realized how similar they are.
is it because i'm ageing or maybe it's a phase where all 26-year-olds would face (whether we like it or not) or were we being pressured by the society hence worrying to conform to the commoners?
i seriously don't know which one triggered some sense in me. perhaps it's just biological. and the changes of the world. cost of living, lifestyle, peer pressure, workload and the XY species might play major roles in contributing it.
argh...serabut!! (well, i try not to look like it haha)
hmm the reason for this entry to be posted is because i was triggered by my particular dry cleaning problem. i sent 2 blazers and a baju kurung for dry cleaning somewhere before new year. then after a hectic first few weeks of new year, i realized of that blazers and i was looking for the receipts. tak jumpa. then after that, i went to my 'favourite' dry cleaners. but dia kate takda. i even checked their receipts. but to no avail. i went to several shops coz i was really unsure which. i was almost 'redha' ajela kan. but today, i remembered there was another one last dry cleaner that i havent checked with. owh, thank god i found my clothes. sheesh.. that was a close call innit. i think im getting old la.daa. sekian sahaja hari ini. :P
at one point, every single friend of mine could only know a portion of problems that i'm facing. i don't fancy disclosing it all. and plus i rather not be thinking of it.but perhaps since me and nuz were in the middle of it, and were discussing bits and pieces of our problems, and there it goes. we blurt it out the very details of our problems. and we realized how similar they are.
is it because i'm ageing or maybe it's a phase where all 26-year-olds would face (whether we like it or not) or were we being pressured by the society hence worrying to conform to the commoners?
i seriously don't know which one triggered some sense in me. perhaps it's just biological. and the changes of the world. cost of living, lifestyle, peer pressure, workload and the XY species might play major roles in contributing it.
argh...serabut!! (well, i try not to look like it haha)
hmm the reason for this entry to be posted is because i was triggered by my particular dry cleaning problem. i sent 2 blazers and a baju kurung for dry cleaning somewhere before new year. then after a hectic first few weeks of new year, i realized of that blazers and i was looking for the receipts. tak jumpa. then after that, i went to my 'favourite' dry cleaners. but dia kate takda. i even checked their receipts. but to no avail. i went to several shops coz i was really unsure which. i was almost 'redha' ajela kan. but today, i remembered there was another one last dry cleaner that i havent checked with. owh, thank god i found my clothes. sheesh.. that was a close call innit. i think im getting old la.daa. sekian sahaja hari ini. :P
Friday, February 09, 2007
and every single thing
and every minute of my waking life
it's you who haunts my mind
and every steps i take everyday
it's memories of you that's in replay
every moment i'm stationary
it's always your name on my vocabulary
every day that's gone without you around
it's seems like music without a sound
and i long to see you around me
do wait and we'll have our afternoon tea... ;-)
some friends like this one. but some find it pretty strong. but i think it goes from strong to mellow when it comes to the end. this very poem came to my head when i was attending some seminars, went out from the lecture hall and walking towards the toilet and realize i only had one subject in my head. :)
knowing me, my brains work at all points. but at that particular moment, i knew i was so caught up in my thoughts upon one particular subject, i really need to write it out. and frankly, this one flows quite easily hehe..
it's you who haunts my mind
and every steps i take everyday
it's memories of you that's in replay
every moment i'm stationary
it's always your name on my vocabulary
every day that's gone without you around
it's seems like music without a sound
and i long to see you around me
do wait and we'll have our afternoon tea... ;-)
some friends like this one. but some find it pretty strong. but i think it goes from strong to mellow when it comes to the end. this very poem came to my head when i was attending some seminars, went out from the lecture hall and walking towards the toilet and realize i only had one subject in my head. :)
knowing me, my brains work at all points. but at that particular moment, i knew i was so caught up in my thoughts upon one particular subject, i really need to write it out. and frankly, this one flows quite easily hehe..
my hidden talent?
| Your Hidden Talent |
 You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think! |
don't you think it's obvious?
funny how we cant say goodbye
we only know how to say hi
when we talk, we are both too bubbly
we would generate a lot of energy
and each time we end the conversation
it seems abrupt, and all of a sudden
isn't it obvious between you and me
that we love each other's company?
080107
we only know how to say hi
when we talk, we are both too bubbly
we would generate a lot of energy
and each time we end the conversation
it seems abrupt, and all of a sudden
isn't it obvious between you and me
that we love each other's company?
080107
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