driving through deserted roads, with lights all over that serves no one, at odd hours suddenly has a huge impact on me. i had tears rolling tonight. and feeling bloody lonely at such a lonely hour.
it has to be on the very day that my favourite soul on earth is having the wedding reception. how ironic. it has nothing to do with the wedding. but the feelings seems so timely.
it suddenly dawns on me, at this wee hours who would actually pick up their phones and entertain a lonely heart, where in the first place was oblivious of being lonely.
there was this kind soul who actually picked up the phone, but i couldnt make its life miserable by entertaining to whatever idiosyncracies i'm having. i feel like heading to putrajaya and just capture the lonely lights that has been there serving no one in particular. but i thought better of it.
i was from a hyperactive molecule tonight, but in the end, i broke the chemistry apart by bouncing harder than my momentum. i was the atom that couldn't fit the molecule any longer. more substance has encourage me to discharge myself from being a part of something huge.
i realize that i would always be the atom. i would connect, someway, somehow to other atoms and becoming a molecule, but in the end, with more (or the lack of it) substances or variables, i would end up being departed or discharged..and at last i would only have myself, the atom all over again.
6.00am 17th december 2006
2 comments:
Being alone is a pain in the @$$... Being lonely is even worse... Just remember, "This too shall pass..."
hi lola. i know its gonna pass. its just some kinda realization. how lonely a heart can be. how even the closest friends can never actually be by your side.
in the end, there's only your sanity to keep u company.
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