J-I-N-X-E-D

well i wanted to have the title lost actually today. but since the structure of today's entry somehow would end with the jinx phenomena, i decided otherwise then.

well, as close frens might know, the last 9 days were well-spent all over indonesia with my family. anyway, among all the happy2 things that happened, my family and i had lost our bags in the hotel room.

eventually, i take it as not my rezeki at that time since i m sure i couldnt do nothing much about it. i lost my birthday gift actually together with the bag. i dont intend to brag but it was 3K worth of jewellery set. perhaps it aint worth much. i thought after all it was harta dunia (worldly possessions) among other things like clothes (and some new ones yg blom rasmi) and abundance of g-strings *sigh*.

but right about now, i just realized that i lost my camera too in that bag (well, another harta dunia too) but then it makes me cry. that too was a birthday gift (last year's).. and suddenly everything came back to me.

frankly, i've been losing lotsa birthday gifts throughout my life. particularly from my parents. most of the time, it would be clumsy or carelessness on my part. which usually i dont mind taking the blame. but my parents are always devastated/mad/sad/puzzled when that happened. and they being parents like they are, they would somehow replace those things back despite my resistance.

you see now, somewhat maybe i m just jinxed. nothing just cant last around me,and im like bloody sad. i mean like totally sad. i've been losing so many things, now it seems i dont deserve anything at all. people, frankly the list is just endless. aah, suddenly i m just exhausted just by thinking and typing about it.

i've always thought i was a black sheep of the family eversince i was a young girl. first, i m the only leftie in the house. i dont know why, but that always makes me feel different. then i m the only one who actually frequent the hospital the most. i've broke like almost every single bones in me. its just weird. even if the fight was me and my brother, but eventually its gonna be me who broke either my arm or my toes.

and it was me who ride the bicycle straight into the longkang and injured myself. it was me who caught in the accidents with my parents but the only one with broken legs.

now, i feel like i m the very opposite of the unbreakable. u guys watched the movie? i totally felt like i m the 'samuel l jackson' character.

ok. am done crying while typing :P and plus, i think it could be my PMS talking. and each time i put the blame on my PMS, i always have this urge to actually discuss about women and their PMSes. hmm will think about that later , when the next PMS comes around :)