i just received an email called 'friendship email'. this is my very first time receiving a 'friendship email'. i mean someone out of nowhere just sent me an email. just to get to know me. god. peliknya. i wonder where did he get my email from.

anyway, that is not the reason of me blogging today. well, i got no specific reasons though. i just wanted to type things out. :D (despite i typed the whole SHAHPEKAN alumni perlembagaan this morning. heh)

okay, frankly people, i have yet to be confirmed in this bloody job i am in. and i've just checked with SPA regarding the delay upon my confirmation. apparently, my stupid bloody admin or service unit didnt attached along my Uni certificate. wtf, after months of nothingness, no letter nor notification, nobody is telling me this? well, i cant blame entirely on my department, maybe SPA should get some spanking from me as well. maybe it was them who misplaced my cert. who knows.

hell, in some ways this just proves that how my government administration suck. due to this late confirmation, i have yet to take the exams, car loans, house loans, pursuing overseas trainings, pursuing masters, and all that comes after it. well, maybe i didnt actually thought of ALL these things, but my chances are between slim to none la if i let them ignoring my confirmation status.

at times, i have to say that regrets do sink in, in this grey matter of mine. i was talkin to dayat, and he mentioned the very same thing. perhaps if i was still in UM and be a lil bit patient over there, by now, i am so done with my masters (on a subject i fancy lak tu). now, i am not even sure if i might get the chance to pursue my masters FOR FREE (that's the whole issue sbenonye), and within my expected age and of course, without taking maths at all. well, everyone has their own future plans dont they. none of mine seems to be happening at this very minute. crap.

so, what else do i think i want to rant about? nothing new. i still hate the piggie in the office. Mr F is still a sucker, my new big boss seems to hate me but just couldnt point out any of my mistakes (weird old woman), the air in this very office is just suffocating. and me, am still in this very same chair since 2005. i havent moved an inch.

but in the meantime, life seems to be so much better. i am more contented. i am now pursuing things i love. (but not without burning holes in my pockets haha). there are a few more things to acquire, and seriously need a wee bit of money. (well, everything has its price innit?).

so in between office and whats-left-of-my-life, i am here to blog away my mind, my rants, my barfing, my glory :D and to think of things i can never obtained. never will be mine. and contemplating either to be sad or indifferent or glad for not having these things. hoping it could be a blessing in disguise, whatever my emotions are.

the conclusion for today is --> my government administration suck!! big time. big bloody time. sheesh.