jiwa lara di Melaka

my paternal grandfather just passed away this morning. frankly, i've drained my tears last wednesday when my uncle called and said he was nazak. today, my tears were only visible in between reciting the Yassin and when nobody was looking. it was only a matter of time. him leaving us and joining my grandmother.

i am not sure what is it that i wanted to write here. i've been meaning to write about my feelings towards my granddad since last week. when i felt berdebar-debar, i knew he was going away. i knew that it was a matter of hours, or days. but writing on an anticipated sad story is just bad. as if i am expecting the worst of it all.

and today the day has come. he died this morning, at 7.15 am at the age of 89. so does the permit says. i think he must be slightly older than that. his IC no. is just unreliable. not far from his grave, is my paternal grandmother's grave. she passed away on the 2nd of March, 1992. after 17 years, Atok Taib left us on 23rd of March, 2009. Looking at those numbers, there was some kinda link. they shared the same numbers. hmm.

dad said it was not necessary for us to stay there anymore. hence me writing this blog. i am already back in KL. and i'll be going to the office tomorrow. i am sure friends would ask. but i m not sure if i could contain my tears. but usually i can.

the saddest part is that my granddad would not be able to share my (well-anticipated) good news. well i hope it's good news when a colleague told me that the meeting with TKSU3 is tomorrow morning. what do u reckon?

anyways, i sure hope Atok is safe, whereever he is now. i am sure God loves him. He belongs in Heaven. he is a great guy. great Atok. i wish i had showed him more affection. only during these couple of years have i kissed his cheeks after kissing his hands. and he smiled, with tears in his eyes. sedihnya rasa.

Bye bye Atok. i love you.

al-fatihah.